Pi You (Pi Yao, Pixiu, or Pi Xie) is a very powerful protective talisman in China and feng shui.
This is a magical animal that has a lion-dog face, a horn, hoofs, little wings and a tail. It is known for its ability not to let negative energy and evil people into the home. It is very kind, and does not harm anyone. This magical creature loves its owners and is very loyal to them. In China and other Asian countries, you can find stores that sell only this fun and powerful talisman.
This charm is often placed where the source of the negative Sha energy can be, such as in front of cemeteries, sharp corners, towers, and peaks. Indoors, it is placed to face the outdoors. For instance, you can place it on a window or opposite the entrance door. In fact, you can even place it in the center of your home – this depends on the goals that you have for this charm.
Following are tips for placing Pi You indoors according to the goals that you want to achieve: Put it in any room below eye level of the tallest family member, if you want to protect your family from the bad Sha Chi. If you often travel on business, place the charm facing outward to the main (front) door – this will prevent any losses and accidents during the trip, as well as guarantee the success of your trip. The only two places where it should not be placed are the bedroom and bathroom.
According to a legend, Pi Xie has a huge appetite, and the Chinese believe its appetite will attract wealth into a home. One of the best charms for this goal is Pixiu sitting on coins – this will protect your wealth and help to increase it. This charm is very popular among businesspeople.
Pi You is one of a very few mystical beings that are capable of taming the prince Tai Sui (Jupiter) and neutralizing his effects. Pixiu helps people who are experiencing failures or losses due to bad flying stars.
Activation: To boost and maintain the strength of this talisman, you need to ring a bell for it once a week. The easiest way is to simply hang a bell next to it. Alternatively, you can activate is by burning a large candle next to it once a month.
Legend: Pi Xie is the ninth son of the Heavenly Dragon. It has many names and areas of habitat, depending on its purpose: one lives in heaven, the other on earth, and the other in water. Each of them brings good luck and has the same beneficial properties.
Story: The Chinese believe that having a pair of Pi You in a home will bring good luck, happiness and money. Keep in mind that even though some stores sell these figurines by one, feng shui and the classic Chinese tradition advise to use them in a pair. The figurines are traditionally made of jadeite or nephrite, but they can be of any other materials also.
4/14/10
The Mystery Princess Kwan Yin
Ancient legends say that Kwan Yin was a young and gorgeous Indian princess who decided to refuse marriage and a life of abundance.
Instead, she chose the life of modesty and self-sacrificing – she went to live in a convent to become a truly enlightened person (bodhisattva). Her story is very similar to the story of the Prince Siddhartha Gautama – Buddha, and that’s why she if often regarded to as the female Buddha. Both, Kwan and Siddhartha Gautama managed to become truly enlightened and compassionate beings; both of them were striving to ease the sufferings of humankind.
The legend says that when Kwan Yin became enlightened and obtained the right to enter Nirvana (Buddhist Heaven), she proceeded to Heaven's gates. She almost entered the gates, when she heard a sad cry made by someone on Earth. Being as compassionate as she was, Kwan returned to Earth to help the suffering person. She never entered Heaven's gate, and remained on Earth to help people. The legend has it that she is still on Earth helping those who suffer, as well as helping anyone become as enlightened as her.
Kwan is the goddess and the embodiment of compassion. Similar to the Western Virgin Mary, she is the Eastern embodiment of a motherly figure. Those who suffer are her children, and they can always count on her for love, compassion, and sympathy. She is also the embodiment of true beauty and grace.
There are ways to increase the aid from Kwan. This can be done by chanting mantras that contain her name, or by placing figurines or images depicting her in your home. This way, whenever you are in trouble or despair, you can call her name or look at her picture, and this kind motherly being will come to the rescue. Her most notable feature is that she protects all, regardless of their social status and any other factors. When her help is needed, she comes to absolutely anyone’s rescue.
The origins of Kwan became a target of controversy in 406 A.D., when a Buddhist monk named Kumarajiva translated the Indian Lotus Sutra. In his translation, he refers to Kwan as the female form of Avalokitesvara - the male bodhisattva. However, the figure of the legendary Chinese princess Miao Shan (700 B.C.) - one of the sacred Buddhist saints, secured Kwan’s image as a woman.
Kwan Yin is often depicted holding a precious vase with the sacred essence of wisdom and compassion. She is frequently depicted in white robes with a lotus in her hand, which symbolizes purity of spirit. Since she can hear anyone's cry, she is often depicted with symbolic large ears. Her radiant identity is associated with the number 33.
In the 9-10th centuries, the statue of this goddess could be found in any Buddhist monastery throughout China. Even now Kwan is the embodiment of a compassionate, wise, beautiful, and graceful deity. It’s believed 1/3 of the world still pray to Kwan Yin (Miao Shan) – the ideal of womanhood and infinite mercy.
Instead, she chose the life of modesty and self-sacrificing – she went to live in a convent to become a truly enlightened person (bodhisattva). Her story is very similar to the story of the Prince Siddhartha Gautama – Buddha, and that’s why she if often regarded to as the female Buddha. Both, Kwan and Siddhartha Gautama managed to become truly enlightened and compassionate beings; both of them were striving to ease the sufferings of humankind.
The legend says that when Kwan Yin became enlightened and obtained the right to enter Nirvana (Buddhist Heaven), she proceeded to Heaven's gates. She almost entered the gates, when she heard a sad cry made by someone on Earth. Being as compassionate as she was, Kwan returned to Earth to help the suffering person. She never entered Heaven's gate, and remained on Earth to help people. The legend has it that she is still on Earth helping those who suffer, as well as helping anyone become as enlightened as her.
Kwan is the goddess and the embodiment of compassion. Similar to the Western Virgin Mary, she is the Eastern embodiment of a motherly figure. Those who suffer are her children, and they can always count on her for love, compassion, and sympathy. She is also the embodiment of true beauty and grace.
There are ways to increase the aid from Kwan. This can be done by chanting mantras that contain her name, or by placing figurines or images depicting her in your home. This way, whenever you are in trouble or despair, you can call her name or look at her picture, and this kind motherly being will come to the rescue. Her most notable feature is that she protects all, regardless of their social status and any other factors. When her help is needed, she comes to absolutely anyone’s rescue.
The origins of Kwan became a target of controversy in 406 A.D., when a Buddhist monk named Kumarajiva translated the Indian Lotus Sutra. In his translation, he refers to Kwan as the female form of Avalokitesvara - the male bodhisattva. However, the figure of the legendary Chinese princess Miao Shan (700 B.C.) - one of the sacred Buddhist saints, secured Kwan’s image as a woman.
Kwan Yin is often depicted holding a precious vase with the sacred essence of wisdom and compassion. She is frequently depicted in white robes with a lotus in her hand, which symbolizes purity of spirit. Since she can hear anyone's cry, she is often depicted with symbolic large ears. Her radiant identity is associated with the number 33.
In the 9-10th centuries, the statue of this goddess could be found in any Buddhist monastery throughout China. Even now Kwan is the embodiment of a compassionate, wise, beautiful, and graceful deity. It’s believed 1/3 of the world still pray to Kwan Yin (Miao Shan) – the ideal of womanhood and infinite mercy.
Treat Acne With Essential Fatty Acids
Learn about the relationship between essential fatty acids and skin health. Learn which essential fatty acid deficiency could be involved in acne, and why essential fatty acids in general are beneficial for acne sufferers.
Whilst scientists do not fully understand the cause of acne, the role of essential fatty acids in the body, including the skin, is reasonably understood. This understanding has led to some scientists and natural health practitioners looking at the effects and benefits of essential fatty acids for skin conditions such as acne. Udo Erasmus is a writer with post graduate studies in genetics, and biochemistry, and a PhD in Nutrition. He believes there are nutritional deficiencies and problems that can cause or exacerbate acne, though they are not as simple as the usual ones about chocolate! Central to his belief is that: "Hard fats and (hard) protein debris clog narrow pores and channels in our skin, and invite infection by bacteria who feast on the mess" He believes acne is a result of "fatty degeneration". Factors in this are:
* fats associating poorly with protein
* too many 'hard' fats
* not enough essential fatty acids
Hard fats are also called saturated fatty acids. These are the fats that are found in most food, including animal fats and dairy. Their name comes from the fact that the fat molecules carry the maximum amount of hydrogen molecules that they possibly can. This has significance in the way these fats act in our body. Some of these saturated fats have a high melting point, like butter and milk fat.
An excess can cause problems for our arteries and heart health. Fatty acids, of the essential and non essential kind, are found in our cell membranes. This includes the membranes of the skin. Erasmus describes the characteristics of saturated fatty acids as tending to stick together. And because they have a higher melting point, they are more likely to be clump together and form deposits when we consume them in excess. So, they are harder for the body to get rid of. And as well as clumping together, they can clump with other things like protein, minerals, and cholesterol. Excess sugar can be a problem because our body converts excess sugar into saturated fatty acids. Other problems with excess saturated fatty acids includes the fact that the body can convert them into unsaturated fatty acids, which can then oxidize if we don't consume enough fatty acids. Saturated fatty acids can reduce the supply of oxygen to our tissues, by making blood cells which carry oxygen stick toget!
her and so impede that vital transportation system which normally carries oxygen to our cells.
Excess fat, including excess saturated fats, are stored in the adipose cells in our skin. These are fat storage centers. Erasmus recommends consuming W3 (alpha linolenic acid) and w6 (flax and linoleic acid) essential fatty acids in the correct ratio.
Essential fatty acids have free receptors for hydrogen bonds. This characteristic changes the way the molecules are structured in terms of the shape they have. And it is this different shape, a kinked shape, that means they don't clump together with the affinity that saturated fats do. And they also have a lower melting point - so they are more liquid also. Because of this difference in structure, they also have a slight negative molecular charge, and given that like charges repel, this is another reason why they don't clump together. Erasmus characterizes these properties of unsaturated fats as providing 'fluidity' to cell membranes. He says this allows the cells to fulfill important chemical functions.
Inflammation, a characteristic of acne, is associated with a deficiency in the essential fatty acid LNA, or alpha linolenic acid. Erasmus writes that whilst inflammation is not a classical symptom of LNA, when people take alpha linolenic acid supplements, this symptom can be reversed.
Essential fatty acids as a group are strongly anti-inflammatory. Another essential fatty acid, linoleic acid (LA) has particular reference to acne. When there is a deficiency of linoleic acid, the oil producing glands in the skin make sebum that is mixed with oleic acid. Oleic acid is found in butter and land animal fats. However, in excess, it can interfere in essential fatty acid use. But more importantly for acne sufferers, sebum mixed with oleic acid is irritating to the skin. It lends itself to blockages of the pores that result in acne, blackheads and whiteheads.
Whilst scientists do not fully understand the cause of acne, the role of essential fatty acids in the body, including the skin, is reasonably understood. This understanding has led to some scientists and natural health practitioners looking at the effects and benefits of essential fatty acids for skin conditions such as acne. Udo Erasmus is a writer with post graduate studies in genetics, and biochemistry, and a PhD in Nutrition. He believes there are nutritional deficiencies and problems that can cause or exacerbate acne, though they are not as simple as the usual ones about chocolate! Central to his belief is that: "Hard fats and (hard) protein debris clog narrow pores and channels in our skin, and invite infection by bacteria who feast on the mess" He believes acne is a result of "fatty degeneration". Factors in this are:
* fats associating poorly with protein
* too many 'hard' fats
* not enough essential fatty acids
Hard fats are also called saturated fatty acids. These are the fats that are found in most food, including animal fats and dairy. Their name comes from the fact that the fat molecules carry the maximum amount of hydrogen molecules that they possibly can. This has significance in the way these fats act in our body. Some of these saturated fats have a high melting point, like butter and milk fat.
An excess can cause problems for our arteries and heart health. Fatty acids, of the essential and non essential kind, are found in our cell membranes. This includes the membranes of the skin. Erasmus describes the characteristics of saturated fatty acids as tending to stick together. And because they have a higher melting point, they are more likely to be clump together and form deposits when we consume them in excess. So, they are harder for the body to get rid of. And as well as clumping together, they can clump with other things like protein, minerals, and cholesterol. Excess sugar can be a problem because our body converts excess sugar into saturated fatty acids. Other problems with excess saturated fatty acids includes the fact that the body can convert them into unsaturated fatty acids, which can then oxidize if we don't consume enough fatty acids. Saturated fatty acids can reduce the supply of oxygen to our tissues, by making blood cells which carry oxygen stick toget!
her and so impede that vital transportation system which normally carries oxygen to our cells.
Excess fat, including excess saturated fats, are stored in the adipose cells in our skin. These are fat storage centers. Erasmus recommends consuming W3 (alpha linolenic acid) and w6 (flax and linoleic acid) essential fatty acids in the correct ratio.
Essential fatty acids have free receptors for hydrogen bonds. This characteristic changes the way the molecules are structured in terms of the shape they have. And it is this different shape, a kinked shape, that means they don't clump together with the affinity that saturated fats do. And they also have a lower melting point - so they are more liquid also. Because of this difference in structure, they also have a slight negative molecular charge, and given that like charges repel, this is another reason why they don't clump together. Erasmus characterizes these properties of unsaturated fats as providing 'fluidity' to cell membranes. He says this allows the cells to fulfill important chemical functions.
Inflammation, a characteristic of acne, is associated with a deficiency in the essential fatty acid LNA, or alpha linolenic acid. Erasmus writes that whilst inflammation is not a classical symptom of LNA, when people take alpha linolenic acid supplements, this symptom can be reversed.
Essential fatty acids as a group are strongly anti-inflammatory. Another essential fatty acid, linoleic acid (LA) has particular reference to acne. When there is a deficiency of linoleic acid, the oil producing glands in the skin make sebum that is mixed with oleic acid. Oleic acid is found in butter and land animal fats. However, in excess, it can interfere in essential fatty acid use. But more importantly for acne sufferers, sebum mixed with oleic acid is irritating to the skin. It lends itself to blockages of the pores that result in acne, blackheads and whiteheads.
Are Magellan GPS Accessories Really Necessary?
Do you have a Magellan GPS? If you do, then you need to know about Magellan GPS accessories. Some people don't believe these accessories are really necessary but you are the only one that can really determine this for your GPS.
Knowing what some of the different accessories are that can provide the most use out of your GPS will help you decide if these accessories are really necessary or not. Here are a few of the different accessories available for the Magellan GPS.
1. Antennas - There are different antennas that you can get so that if you are in an enclosed area such as below the deck in a cabin of a boat the GPS will still work effectively. To use this accessory you will also need to have an external antenna to make it function correctly.
This is not an accessory that everyone will need but for many people that spend a lot of time doing different activities in enclosed places it can be just what you are looking for.
2. Carrying case - This is an accessory that is a good idea for anyone that a portable GPS. The carrying case will protect it when you move it from one place to another.
The Magellan cases are made from quality leather or from a durable nylon. The case is designed to keep your GPS safe due to the extra padding that is used and the soft durable nylon or leather surrounding it.
3. Maps on CD-ROM's - If you travel a lot or you are a hiker or biker then this could be the accessory for you. There are currently 15 different maps on CD-ROM's that you can get to transfer onto your GPS receiver.
Some of the maps include:
- Europe - Canada - MapSend Topo which is a 3d topographical style map of the U.S. - Mexico
Be sure to do your research on this accessory to find out what all the maps are that you can purchase. This could definitely prevent you from getting lost in different places if you love to travel.
4. Pre-authorized SD card - This is available for various GPS models. This card has already been programmed with different maps for a variety of states and cities. All you need to do to use it is to put it into your GPS and start using it.
Each of these cards will feature an extensive list of POI or points of interest and several stops that are commonly requested. Some of the stops include:
- ATM's - Parks - Rest areas - Restaurants
5. Blank memory cards - This accessory allows you to fill it with your own maps and POI's.
These are just a few of the most commonly used Magellan GPS accessories. You need to take time to research these and others online before making your final decision about whether these accessories are really necessary for your GPS or not.
Knowing what some of the different accessories are that can provide the most use out of your GPS will help you decide if these accessories are really necessary or not. Here are a few of the different accessories available for the Magellan GPS.
1. Antennas - There are different antennas that you can get so that if you are in an enclosed area such as below the deck in a cabin of a boat the GPS will still work effectively. To use this accessory you will also need to have an external antenna to make it function correctly.
This is not an accessory that everyone will need but for many people that spend a lot of time doing different activities in enclosed places it can be just what you are looking for.
2. Carrying case - This is an accessory that is a good idea for anyone that a portable GPS. The carrying case will protect it when you move it from one place to another.
The Magellan cases are made from quality leather or from a durable nylon. The case is designed to keep your GPS safe due to the extra padding that is used and the soft durable nylon or leather surrounding it.
3. Maps on CD-ROM's - If you travel a lot or you are a hiker or biker then this could be the accessory for you. There are currently 15 different maps on CD-ROM's that you can get to transfer onto your GPS receiver.
Some of the maps include:
- Europe - Canada - MapSend Topo which is a 3d topographical style map of the U.S. - Mexico
Be sure to do your research on this accessory to find out what all the maps are that you can purchase. This could definitely prevent you from getting lost in different places if you love to travel.
4. Pre-authorized SD card - This is available for various GPS models. This card has already been programmed with different maps for a variety of states and cities. All you need to do to use it is to put it into your GPS and start using it.
Each of these cards will feature an extensive list of POI or points of interest and several stops that are commonly requested. Some of the stops include:
- ATM's - Parks - Rest areas - Restaurants
5. Blank memory cards - This accessory allows you to fill it with your own maps and POI's.
These are just a few of the most commonly used Magellan GPS accessories. You need to take time to research these and others online before making your final decision about whether these accessories are really necessary for your GPS or not.
Unilever's Best Beverage Brand: Lipton
When it comes to brands of tea, Lipton is considered as one of the most highly known brands of tea in the world. Although not as popular as other brands of tea found in other countries, Lipton, however, is the only brand recognized around the world. This is because Lipton is one of the few successful brands of beverages owned by Unilever, a multinational company known for their many consumer brands from foods and beverages to cleansing products as well as skin and beauty products.
Although Unilever's list or brands are seemingly endless, there is only a few brands that is known to achieve over a billion Euros each year. And Lipton is one of the few that always hits this mark. So what is Lipton? And why is that many have come to buy lipton tea which lead to its popularity?
Brief History of Lipton
Lipton is one of the world's best-known and best-selling brands of both hot leaf and ready-to-drink tea. Although currently owned by Unilever, Lipton was once founded by Sir Thomas Lipton in the 19th century in Glasgow, Scotland. Through his brand of tea, his business quickly grew which led him to establish a chain of grocers, first across Glasgow, the rest of Scotland, until finally he had stores throughout Britain.
Through several acquisitions, Lipton was acquired by Unilever. First the brand was acquired by Home and Colonial Stores. Then in 1982, the brand was acquired by Argyll Group. Meanwhile, the Lipton tea business was acquired by consumer goods company Unilever in a number of separate transactions, starting with the purchase of the US and Canadian Lipton business in 1938 and completed in 1972 when Unilever bought the remainder of the global Lipton business.
Lipton of Today
The reason why many would buy lipton tea is because of its special blends, particularly the brand's Yellow Label. Lipton Yellow Label has been sold since 1890, when Sir Thomas Lipton created the first version of the Yellow pack with a red Lipton shield, which to this day typifies the Lipton Yellow Label brand. It is sold in 150 countries worldwide. Lipton Yellow Label is a blend, meaning that up to 30 teas from many different origins are blended together to create a consistent quality and taste.
Today, Lipton has gone through several more modifications as well as the introduction of new products. Apart from black leaf teas, , the company also markets a large range of other varieties, both in leaf tea as well as ready-to-drink format such as green teas, black flavoured teas, (herbal) infusions, Lipton Linea (a 'slimming tea') in Europe and Lipton Milk Tea in various Asian markets. One of today's most popular brand of Lipton is the Lipton Iced Tea. Lipton Iced Tea, in many markets known as Lipton Ice Tea is an iced tea brand sold by Lipton through two joint ventures with PepsiCo. These are the reasons why many have come to buy lipton tea and became one of the most popular brands of tea across the world.
Although Unilever's list or brands are seemingly endless, there is only a few brands that is known to achieve over a billion Euros each year. And Lipton is one of the few that always hits this mark. So what is Lipton? And why is that many have come to buy lipton tea which lead to its popularity?
Brief History of Lipton
Lipton is one of the world's best-known and best-selling brands of both hot leaf and ready-to-drink tea. Although currently owned by Unilever, Lipton was once founded by Sir Thomas Lipton in the 19th century in Glasgow, Scotland. Through his brand of tea, his business quickly grew which led him to establish a chain of grocers, first across Glasgow, the rest of Scotland, until finally he had stores throughout Britain.
Through several acquisitions, Lipton was acquired by Unilever. First the brand was acquired by Home and Colonial Stores. Then in 1982, the brand was acquired by Argyll Group. Meanwhile, the Lipton tea business was acquired by consumer goods company Unilever in a number of separate transactions, starting with the purchase of the US and Canadian Lipton business in 1938 and completed in 1972 when Unilever bought the remainder of the global Lipton business.
Lipton of Today
The reason why many would buy lipton tea is because of its special blends, particularly the brand's Yellow Label. Lipton Yellow Label has been sold since 1890, when Sir Thomas Lipton created the first version of the Yellow pack with a red Lipton shield, which to this day typifies the Lipton Yellow Label brand. It is sold in 150 countries worldwide. Lipton Yellow Label is a blend, meaning that up to 30 teas from many different origins are blended together to create a consistent quality and taste.
Today, Lipton has gone through several more modifications as well as the introduction of new products. Apart from black leaf teas, , the company also markets a large range of other varieties, both in leaf tea as well as ready-to-drink format such as green teas, black flavoured teas, (herbal) infusions, Lipton Linea (a 'slimming tea') in Europe and Lipton Milk Tea in various Asian markets. One of today's most popular brand of Lipton is the Lipton Iced Tea. Lipton Iced Tea, in many markets known as Lipton Ice Tea is an iced tea brand sold by Lipton through two joint ventures with PepsiCo. These are the reasons why many have come to buy lipton tea and became one of the most popular brands of tea across the world.
Eva Wong – A Channel for Chinese Lineage Teachings
Eva Wong is a notorious translator and author of numerous books on Feng Shui, Taoism, Buddhism, and related topics.
She was raised in Hong Kong. Since the age of 7, she has studied Tibetan Buddhism; she later became a highly developed practitioner. Her granduncle taught her feng shui when she was a teenager. For countless centuries, the Chinese have applied feng-shui when designing cities, building homes, and burying the dead. When Eva was a teenager, feng shui was hardly known outside of Asian countries. Today, it’s widespread throughout the world.
Eva is a genuine practitioner of what she teaches, as she represents the nation where it all originated thousands of years ago. She shares the traditions of her ancestors with the rest of the world in her books, on her web site, working with people at the Shambala center, as well as lecturing worldwide.
Eva Wong holds the wisdom of the Mysterious Subtleties (Hsuan-k'ung; traditional Feng Shui School); she is a practitioner of the Three Periods (San-yuan) and Three Combinations (San-ho). She belongs to an unbroken string of lineage carriers, starting with the founders to the present day.
She wrote over 10 books and translated over 15 books on Taoism, Feng Shui, and related topics. Eva shares her notion of the Chinese, who have designed their sanctuaries and homes in harmony with the Qi - the energy of the earth. She helps us understand Qi and its interdependency between architecture and geography. Her books were translated into a number of languages, including German, French, Spanish, Russian, Polish, and Italian.
Shambhala Mountain Center is the place where Eva presents the doctrine of nature and its energy. She explains how this doctrine guided the building of Chinese pagodas, Tibetan stupas, Japanese shrines, and even the Indian temples. She explains how to use feng shui in residential and commercial structures, to achieve the beneficial flow of Qi.
Wong is also a renowned qigong instructor. Simply put, qigong is an exercise that combines movement, breathing and cultivating Qi energy for health and longevity. This system was developed by Taoist sages. Qigong helps to restore Qi, and remove any blockages. This system is often referred to as a panacea for ailments: it helps to reduce stress, regulate blood pressure, strengthen immunity, etc. Qigong requires proper tutoring to be effective and safe. Eva Wong is a Taoist scholar/practitioner, who teaches people to transform their mind and body using qigong the right way. Wong lectures, instructs, and teaches through Shambhala’s worldwide group of retreat centers.
Eva Wong has helped many people improve the quality of their lives, including eliminating persistent ailments like significant back issues, chronic pain, and others. Some people were so amazed by the results of her training that they have also started to study.
She is the director of learning at a Taoist Temple – Fung Loy Kok. She has taught courses on Buddhist and Taoist beliefs at Denver University.
Like most true masters, Eva has adopted the non-ego tradition that “leaves no trace”, which means that there are little to no direct quotes from her to be found. She perceives herself as a guide and a channel for the lineage teachings to pass onto new generations in the East and West. Eva Wong strives for acceptance among religions, to end religiously motivated violence.
She was raised in Hong Kong. Since the age of 7, she has studied Tibetan Buddhism; she later became a highly developed practitioner. Her granduncle taught her feng shui when she was a teenager. For countless centuries, the Chinese have applied feng-shui when designing cities, building homes, and burying the dead. When Eva was a teenager, feng shui was hardly known outside of Asian countries. Today, it’s widespread throughout the world.
Eva is a genuine practitioner of what she teaches, as she represents the nation where it all originated thousands of years ago. She shares the traditions of her ancestors with the rest of the world in her books, on her web site, working with people at the Shambala center, as well as lecturing worldwide.
Eva Wong holds the wisdom of the Mysterious Subtleties (Hsuan-k'ung; traditional Feng Shui School); she is a practitioner of the Three Periods (San-yuan) and Three Combinations (San-ho). She belongs to an unbroken string of lineage carriers, starting with the founders to the present day.
She wrote over 10 books and translated over 15 books on Taoism, Feng Shui, and related topics. Eva shares her notion of the Chinese, who have designed their sanctuaries and homes in harmony with the Qi - the energy of the earth. She helps us understand Qi and its interdependency between architecture and geography. Her books were translated into a number of languages, including German, French, Spanish, Russian, Polish, and Italian.
Shambhala Mountain Center is the place where Eva presents the doctrine of nature and its energy. She explains how this doctrine guided the building of Chinese pagodas, Tibetan stupas, Japanese shrines, and even the Indian temples. She explains how to use feng shui in residential and commercial structures, to achieve the beneficial flow of Qi.
Wong is also a renowned qigong instructor. Simply put, qigong is an exercise that combines movement, breathing and cultivating Qi energy for health and longevity. This system was developed by Taoist sages. Qigong helps to restore Qi, and remove any blockages. This system is often referred to as a panacea for ailments: it helps to reduce stress, regulate blood pressure, strengthen immunity, etc. Qigong requires proper tutoring to be effective and safe. Eva Wong is a Taoist scholar/practitioner, who teaches people to transform their mind and body using qigong the right way. Wong lectures, instructs, and teaches through Shambhala’s worldwide group of retreat centers.
Eva Wong has helped many people improve the quality of their lives, including eliminating persistent ailments like significant back issues, chronic pain, and others. Some people were so amazed by the results of her training that they have also started to study.
She is the director of learning at a Taoist Temple – Fung Loy Kok. She has taught courses on Buddhist and Taoist beliefs at Denver University.
Like most true masters, Eva has adopted the non-ego tradition that “leaves no trace”, which means that there are little to no direct quotes from her to be found. She perceives herself as a guide and a channel for the lineage teachings to pass onto new generations in the East and West. Eva Wong strives for acceptance among religions, to end religiously motivated violence.
RNCOS Releases a New Report - Global Photovoltaic Market Forecast to 2013
RNCOS has recently added a new Market Research Report titled, “Global Photovoltaic Market Forecast to 2013” to its report gallery. The dependence on fossil fuels and the associated volatility of their international prices, coupled with increasing concerns over the greenhouse gas emissions worldwide, has led to the evolution of the concept of renewable energy over the past few years. The industry has qualified as the most feasible solutions and has been increasingly gaining considerable attention among industry players all around the world. With growing demand for clean energy sources, the manufacturing and deployment of solar PV cells and photovoltaic arrays have expanded dramatically in the recent years, resulting in augmented market competition and abolishment of monopoly.
According to our latest research report “Global Photovoltaic Market Forecast to 2013”, the growth in global PV industry has been triggered by favorable government policies and billions of dollars worth of investment made in European countries, followed by Japan and the US. As a result, Europe captured close to 80% of total annual installed PV capacity in 2009, with Germany and Spain leading from the front.
The solar cell manufacturing is gaining significant momentum on the back of surging demand of PV systems installations around the world. Apart from the developments in the developed countries, some fast growing Asian economies have also shown notable improvements in overall PV industry progress. For example, China produced around 2 GW of solar cells during 2008 and a further growth, at a CAGR of above 50%, is expected to be seen in the next few years.
In our research, we have inferred that traditionally high deployment cost of PV cells had been the major hurdle for the development of global PV industry. However, with rapid technological developments in the PV industry and government initiatives, the PV production cost has considerably declined. Now, the developing countries are also taking active participation in the deployment of this technology and are considering it to reduce their dependency on fossil fuels.
The report focuses on the growing marketplace for PV industry at global as well as at the country level and analyzes the current market trends along with future growth prospects of the industry. It contains detailed data on cumulative installed PV capacity, annual installed PV capacity and the future market potential of the key countries, thereby helping clients to identify the factors critical to their successful market penetration and gain early entry advantages.
According to our latest research report “Global Photovoltaic Market Forecast to 2013”, the growth in global PV industry has been triggered by favorable government policies and billions of dollars worth of investment made in European countries, followed by Japan and the US. As a result, Europe captured close to 80% of total annual installed PV capacity in 2009, with Germany and Spain leading from the front.
The solar cell manufacturing is gaining significant momentum on the back of surging demand of PV systems installations around the world. Apart from the developments in the developed countries, some fast growing Asian economies have also shown notable improvements in overall PV industry progress. For example, China produced around 2 GW of solar cells during 2008 and a further growth, at a CAGR of above 50%, is expected to be seen in the next few years.
In our research, we have inferred that traditionally high deployment cost of PV cells had been the major hurdle for the development of global PV industry. However, with rapid technological developments in the PV industry and government initiatives, the PV production cost has considerably declined. Now, the developing countries are also taking active participation in the deployment of this technology and are considering it to reduce their dependency on fossil fuels.
The report focuses on the growing marketplace for PV industry at global as well as at the country level and analyzes the current market trends along with future growth prospects of the industry. It contains detailed data on cumulative installed PV capacity, annual installed PV capacity and the future market potential of the key countries, thereby helping clients to identify the factors critical to their successful market penetration and gain early entry advantages.
Fantastic Training Option With FLT Training Doncaster
Transportation of goods is one thing that needs great expertise with handling large vehicles as there is no better way to get heavy things across areas than in a large or a heavy goods vehicle. There are many people who are interested to be drivers of these great carrier vehicles but it surely isn’t an easy job as it requires the right kind of training that will be able to help that the job is done. If you are looking at a career that needs you to take charge of monster machines and large vehicles then the best solution is to get acquainted with your work with the help of HGV Training Doncaster.
There are various differences in handling a light car and a heavy goods vehicle and this is where a FLT Training Doncaster will be able to help you. There are various applications of getting by a proper agency as there are various aspects that are involved in learning about driving a fork lift truck equipment or a heavy or a large goods vehicle and these aspects can be covered by a firm that knows what all has to be taught to these drivers. With the aid of a great LGV Training Doncaster firm you will learn all you need to know to handle these industrial transportation equipments.
A great HGV Training Doncaster firm will be able to address all your requirements with such a training place as they will be able to train you in their own site or even at your work site that will be able to help you get trained in your work conditions. There are various certifications that are required to use these heavy equipment handling machines and with the aid of a good Forklift Training Doncaster firm that has a good experience in training many people this can be done. With such an experienced firm at your disposal, you will be able to get trained with the proper certifications needed.
A great FLT Training Yorkshire service will have the kind of expertise and the tools that are required to work around your schedule and they will train on various areas like handling road transport machines like LGV, warehouse machinery and forklifts and construction equipments. Health and safety is also an important aspect of learning to handle these equipments and the health implications will definitely be taught to you by a great HGV Training Yorkshire firm that has great knowledge of these training areas.
Handling heavy equipments like forklift trucks or an HGV surely isn’t child’s play and you will be able to understand the full scope of what all you need to learn in order to be able to use these machines with the help of a FLT Training Doncaster firm. Once these experts teach you all you have to know about handling these monster machines, you will be able to handle these huge machines without any hassles. These professionals will truly make a difference in the way your industrial work is handled and make it easier and more efficient.
There are various differences in handling a light car and a heavy goods vehicle and this is where a FLT Training Doncaster will be able to help you. There are various applications of getting by a proper agency as there are various aspects that are involved in learning about driving a fork lift truck equipment or a heavy or a large goods vehicle and these aspects can be covered by a firm that knows what all has to be taught to these drivers. With the aid of a great LGV Training Doncaster firm you will learn all you need to know to handle these industrial transportation equipments.
A great HGV Training Doncaster firm will be able to address all your requirements with such a training place as they will be able to train you in their own site or even at your work site that will be able to help you get trained in your work conditions. There are various certifications that are required to use these heavy equipment handling machines and with the aid of a good Forklift Training Doncaster firm that has a good experience in training many people this can be done. With such an experienced firm at your disposal, you will be able to get trained with the proper certifications needed.
A great FLT Training Yorkshire service will have the kind of expertise and the tools that are required to work around your schedule and they will train on various areas like handling road transport machines like LGV, warehouse machinery and forklifts and construction equipments. Health and safety is also an important aspect of learning to handle these equipments and the health implications will definitely be taught to you by a great HGV Training Yorkshire firm that has great knowledge of these training areas.
Handling heavy equipments like forklift trucks or an HGV surely isn’t child’s play and you will be able to understand the full scope of what all you need to learn in order to be able to use these machines with the help of a FLT Training Doncaster firm. Once these experts teach you all you have to know about handling these monster machines, you will be able to handle these huge machines without any hassles. These professionals will truly make a difference in the way your industrial work is handled and make it easier and more efficient.
Expedition Headlights – Bright and Beautiful
If you want a large vehicle which can carry your family and more Ford Expedition is the proper vehicle for you. It is a large size sport utility vehicle built on a pickup truck platform. It can seat eight or nine persons. Formerly nine persons could sit but now only eight can sit, as they have made the seats more comfortable. The vehicle is quite long but a still longer version is offered. The later has much larger space for luggage. It is available in four trim levels, each having its own specialty. It debuted in 1997, the second generation was introduced in 2003, and the third in 2007. Each generation had incorporated some specialty or improvement. It is a large, tall, and heavy vehicle, but in spite of its size its driving is neither difficult nor awkward. The SUV can also serve as a good towing vehicle. Because of its utility value it has remained popular since its introduction.
Such a large sized car will need good headlights and if your headlights need to be replaced you should consider the latest Expedition headlights. Headlights are an essential safety feature. They enable the driver to see on the road at night or when the visibility is poor due to fog or any other reason. To be of real help the headlights have to be sufficiently bright.
The latest innovations such as the LED lights, or Xenon lights are very bright. Of course just a bright light source is not enough to make for a great headlight. The beam of light has to be cast in the proper direction so that the driver can see clearly but the driver of the car coming from the opposite side is not blinded. There are dimmers for this purpose as well as reflectors and special lenses which can be manipulated. The Expedition headlights are highly visible during the night as well as day, so besides being a safety feature they are also am important contributor to the look and style of the car. The housings of the headlights are made in attractive designs and colors. They contribute to overall looks of the car in a major way.
Such a large sized car will need good headlights and if your headlights need to be replaced you should consider the latest Expedition headlights. Headlights are an essential safety feature. They enable the driver to see on the road at night or when the visibility is poor due to fog or any other reason. To be of real help the headlights have to be sufficiently bright.
The latest innovations such as the LED lights, or Xenon lights are very bright. Of course just a bright light source is not enough to make for a great headlight. The beam of light has to be cast in the proper direction so that the driver can see clearly but the driver of the car coming from the opposite side is not blinded. There are dimmers for this purpose as well as reflectors and special lenses which can be manipulated. The Expedition headlights are highly visible during the night as well as day, so besides being a safety feature they are also am important contributor to the look and style of the car. The housings of the headlights are made in attractive designs and colors. They contribute to overall looks of the car in a major way.
Facebook As A Membership Communication Tool
Social media is classed as being any website that allows user generated content. Social media is one of the most popular activities online, with more and more people logging onto social networks, creating and commenting on blogs and creating user reviews for products.
Companies relying on memberships are starting to understand the true value that lies within these channels. There are many different social networking sites available, but one of the most commonly used is Facebook. Founded in February 2004, Facebook is a social utility that helps people communicate more efficiently. Originally created for students at Harvard University, it has grown into a communication platform for all, and is now being used by millions of people throughout the globe:
• More than 400 million active users
• 50% of active users log on to Facebook in any given day
• More than 35 million users update their status each day
• More than 5 billion pieces of content (web links, news stories, blog posts, notes, photo albums, etc.) shared each week
• More than 3.5 million events created each month
• More than 3 million active Pages on Facebook
• More than 1.5 million local businesses have active Pages on Facebook
• More than 20 million people become fans of Pages each day
• Pages have created more than 5.3 billion fans
• The media age of a Facebook user is 26
o Yet the fastest growing segment on Facebook is 55-65 year-old females
Because so many people are now using Facebook, it makes sense for membership organisations to utilise it to improve communication and to create an interactive experience for their own community.
Many membership organisations are still using traditional Web 1.0 technologies to communicate with their member base - a static website providing information and announcements, but with no ability for the website visitor to add information or communicate back to the website owner. For some membership organisations, they will have a fantastic looking website which provides a host of information to their members. However, people are now becoming used to being able to use social media to gather information. From a membership organisation’s viewpoint, it seems what makes these technologies attractive, is the various social media tools that enable users to easily publish ideas and transmit them to a wide audience. Unlike the one way communication associated with Web 1.0, today’s technology enables users to create a digital identity by sharing their personal thoughts and relevant ideas.
More and more membership organisations are taking advantage of the different tools Facebook offers to improve how they communicate with their members. Managing a membership organisation can be hard; with all the aspects of running a business, effective communication with members is key. However, finding ways to effectively communicate with your membership base is not always an easy task – frequent contact is central to ensuring members are retained year in, year out. If membership organisations can find a dependable way to communicate with their members, they will be able to provide important information that will not only improve the members’ experience, but may help to build a productive membership base also.
Facebook’s social networking can help build the sort of communication structure that enables membership managers to communicate with members on a regular basis. Because most people are used to using Facebook to communicate, utilising the following applications can help to improve member-related communication:
• Group Feature: Creating focused communication groups for different member types allows membership managers to easily share information and data in a way that is specifically tailored for each member
• Event Feature: Because most membership organisations have to communicate information related to numerous events, Facebook’s event feature can aid excellent event-based communication. Scheduling an event is very easy and its broadcast feature enables membership managers to not only reach a large audience, but simply and effectively reminds members of important events
• Send Message Feature: This feature allows membership managers to send messages directly to their members. Managers can create a variety of groups based on the different communication requirements. What makes this application so practical is that much like email, member managers can pinpoint communication to specific members
• Multimedia Feature: Membership managers can share a range of multimedia with their members. The ability to easily share videos and images with members can add a huge amount of value to members. Images of previous events, video interviews with important members and other multimedia communications can be shared instantly. If designed well, these snapshots can provide a powerful insight into the membership organisation and their membership community. By emphasising certain aspects of the membership community, membership managers can have a influential hand in shaping it
• Announcement Feature: Membership managers can easily broadcast messages and reminders to help members stay on top of important member-related events
• Blogging Feature: By using the ‘Notes’ feature, membership managers can provide regular updates, blog about significant events and issues and provide valuable information to members
• Discussion Feature: By using the discussion feature, membership managers can create an valuable way for members to share ideas and thoughts with the organisation and with other members. As long as the discussions items are properly planned and well managed, they can present an excellent way for members to participate in the organisations decision making process
• Member-to-Member: One of the most popular ways membership managers can use Facebook is to help other members communicate and build relationships with each other
Facebook is a powerful tool for membership organisations because the social networking structure it is built upon can be used to facilitate communication and build a dynamic online community. Depending on the type of membership organisation, the majority of members may already have an active Facebook account. For membership mangers, this provides them with a powerful communication tool – one which can be used to share all kinds of different information and which can be customised to meet the personal needs of individual members.
Managing a membership Facebook account is made extremely simple through the use of an integrated membership management software solution. These solutions enable membership managers to update and manage their Facebook account without having to leave the membership management solution platform. The platform will also integrate into other social media sites such as Twitter and LinkedIn. Quality membership management solutions also integrate with CRM systems and other back end office solutions, providing membership organisations with a way of managing their membership base with ease.
Companies relying on memberships are starting to understand the true value that lies within these channels. There are many different social networking sites available, but one of the most commonly used is Facebook. Founded in February 2004, Facebook is a social utility that helps people communicate more efficiently. Originally created for students at Harvard University, it has grown into a communication platform for all, and is now being used by millions of people throughout the globe:
• More than 400 million active users
• 50% of active users log on to Facebook in any given day
• More than 35 million users update their status each day
• More than 5 billion pieces of content (web links, news stories, blog posts, notes, photo albums, etc.) shared each week
• More than 3.5 million events created each month
• More than 3 million active Pages on Facebook
• More than 1.5 million local businesses have active Pages on Facebook
• More than 20 million people become fans of Pages each day
• Pages have created more than 5.3 billion fans
• The media age of a Facebook user is 26
o Yet the fastest growing segment on Facebook is 55-65 year-old females
Because so many people are now using Facebook, it makes sense for membership organisations to utilise it to improve communication and to create an interactive experience for their own community.
Many membership organisations are still using traditional Web 1.0 technologies to communicate with their member base - a static website providing information and announcements, but with no ability for the website visitor to add information or communicate back to the website owner. For some membership organisations, they will have a fantastic looking website which provides a host of information to their members. However, people are now becoming used to being able to use social media to gather information. From a membership organisation’s viewpoint, it seems what makes these technologies attractive, is the various social media tools that enable users to easily publish ideas and transmit them to a wide audience. Unlike the one way communication associated with Web 1.0, today’s technology enables users to create a digital identity by sharing their personal thoughts and relevant ideas.
More and more membership organisations are taking advantage of the different tools Facebook offers to improve how they communicate with their members. Managing a membership organisation can be hard; with all the aspects of running a business, effective communication with members is key. However, finding ways to effectively communicate with your membership base is not always an easy task – frequent contact is central to ensuring members are retained year in, year out. If membership organisations can find a dependable way to communicate with their members, they will be able to provide important information that will not only improve the members’ experience, but may help to build a productive membership base also.
Facebook’s social networking can help build the sort of communication structure that enables membership managers to communicate with members on a regular basis. Because most people are used to using Facebook to communicate, utilising the following applications can help to improve member-related communication:
• Group Feature: Creating focused communication groups for different member types allows membership managers to easily share information and data in a way that is specifically tailored for each member
• Event Feature: Because most membership organisations have to communicate information related to numerous events, Facebook’s event feature can aid excellent event-based communication. Scheduling an event is very easy and its broadcast feature enables membership managers to not only reach a large audience, but simply and effectively reminds members of important events
• Send Message Feature: This feature allows membership managers to send messages directly to their members. Managers can create a variety of groups based on the different communication requirements. What makes this application so practical is that much like email, member managers can pinpoint communication to specific members
• Multimedia Feature: Membership managers can share a range of multimedia with their members. The ability to easily share videos and images with members can add a huge amount of value to members. Images of previous events, video interviews with important members and other multimedia communications can be shared instantly. If designed well, these snapshots can provide a powerful insight into the membership organisation and their membership community. By emphasising certain aspects of the membership community, membership managers can have a influential hand in shaping it
• Announcement Feature: Membership managers can easily broadcast messages and reminders to help members stay on top of important member-related events
• Blogging Feature: By using the ‘Notes’ feature, membership managers can provide regular updates, blog about significant events and issues and provide valuable information to members
• Discussion Feature: By using the discussion feature, membership managers can create an valuable way for members to share ideas and thoughts with the organisation and with other members. As long as the discussions items are properly planned and well managed, they can present an excellent way for members to participate in the organisations decision making process
• Member-to-Member: One of the most popular ways membership managers can use Facebook is to help other members communicate and build relationships with each other
Facebook is a powerful tool for membership organisations because the social networking structure it is built upon can be used to facilitate communication and build a dynamic online community. Depending on the type of membership organisation, the majority of members may already have an active Facebook account. For membership mangers, this provides them with a powerful communication tool – one which can be used to share all kinds of different information and which can be customised to meet the personal needs of individual members.
Managing a membership Facebook account is made extremely simple through the use of an integrated membership management software solution. These solutions enable membership managers to update and manage their Facebook account without having to leave the membership management solution platform. The platform will also integrate into other social media sites such as Twitter and LinkedIn. Quality membership management solutions also integrate with CRM systems and other back end office solutions, providing membership organisations with a way of managing their membership base with ease.
Automated Prank Calls using A.I. Technology?
If you're the sort of person who likes to make prank calls and wind people up in general you'll probably be aware of the many prank call sites on the internet, offering a choice of automated phone windups to play anytime.
The thing is, like every category of services, picking the best site to run with can sometimes be a challenge.
Obviously, the best prank calls are the most convincing, and to achieve convincing prank calls you will need to make sure the prank call service itself is the real deal.
After all, the fun is in reeling someone in and humiliating them at the end right?
But you won't find out if you're "victim" hangs up! You would have just wasted you're money for nothing.
So how can you make sure you're getting the best?
There are 2 main types of automated prank calls service. One is a simple recorded prank call system which plays a recording to your victim hoping that it will achieve a response, but in reality is not credible at all and usually gets picked up on right away. Not much use.
The other uses Artificial Intelligence technology to actually interact with what your victim says just like a normal conversation. The system also "knows" when to take breaks and let them speak and when to ask different questions depending on their reaction. This is the type you want. This type of service also allows you to listen in secretly to your victim's reaction and they won't be able to hear you laugh out loud!
Prank Call Services that use this A.I. technology usually offer a much higher standard & wider range of prank calls to choose from, using professional voice actors to produce them.
When it comes to choosing a Prank Call Site, make sure you only use the best. After all, it's no fun when the person you are calling hangs up the phone after a few seconds is it?
The thing is, like every category of services, picking the best site to run with can sometimes be a challenge.
Obviously, the best prank calls are the most convincing, and to achieve convincing prank calls you will need to make sure the prank call service itself is the real deal.
After all, the fun is in reeling someone in and humiliating them at the end right?
But you won't find out if you're "victim" hangs up! You would have just wasted you're money for nothing.
So how can you make sure you're getting the best?
There are 2 main types of automated prank calls service. One is a simple recorded prank call system which plays a recording to your victim hoping that it will achieve a response, but in reality is not credible at all and usually gets picked up on right away. Not much use.
The other uses Artificial Intelligence technology to actually interact with what your victim says just like a normal conversation. The system also "knows" when to take breaks and let them speak and when to ask different questions depending on their reaction. This is the type you want. This type of service also allows you to listen in secretly to your victim's reaction and they won't be able to hear you laugh out loud!
Prank Call Services that use this A.I. technology usually offer a much higher standard & wider range of prank calls to choose from, using professional voice actors to produce them.
When it comes to choosing a Prank Call Site, make sure you only use the best. After all, it's no fun when the person you are calling hangs up the phone after a few seconds is it?
Prank Call Ideas - 5 Step Formula to Create Hilarious Prank Calls!
Prank Calls can be a lot of fun, but not when you're sitting there waiting for a decent idea to spring up. It can get very boring.
As you can probably recall, these sort of pranks calls usually end up turning into very unconvincing stories, silly amounts of laughter and the phone being slammed down by the other person more or less straight away, which is no fun.
The most convincing and rewarding prank calls arise from keeping your "victim" on the phone for as long as possible, thereby making them believe that every word you are saying is true and generally making them looking like a bit of a buffoon.
Prank call masters know what it takes in order to pull the most outrageous pranks off. Read on to find out how you can too using our special formula.
Prank Call Examples
There are a lot of prank call videos on YouTube, but apart from being fun to watch, they won't help you generate your own prank ideas by themselves, and trying to replicate a prank call seen elsewhere will often sound false.
What you need is a formula...
A formula is very useful in this situation because it will allow you to plug in your own ideas under the different headings below and come up with something that will go down a treat. A good way to explain how the formula works is to refer to an actual prank call, which we will do below.
The Headings
Introduction - Introduce Yourself.
They say it's important to make a good first impression. Well the same goes for creating a good prank call.
You need to captivate your "victim" and make them curious. Saying something out of the blue or random during the first 5 seconds will usually sound the alarms and will either cause them to hang up or get angry and then hang up!
The conversation has to be very believable. Watch this video on YouTube to see what I mean (Come back though!) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDui3KQwG6c.
The pranksters start by introducing themselves with phony names to add credibility and start the conversation off.
Create a situation.
Make your "victim" curious and interested in what you are saying. Engage them in easy to understand conversation and listen to their reaction. This allows you to build a topic for the call and also explore their limits aswell. It's really an extension of the introduction.
Listen to how the pranksters start talking about the new local school that is about to open...
Ask some questions.
Asking simple and non private questions work well to get them talking. This is the key foundation work to build up credibility. Only ask questions after you've followed the above introductions, otherwise most people will get paranoid and hang up or act closed, which is not something you want to deal with during a prank call.
Remember the goal of the prank is to reel your "victim" in and then eventually humiliate them in some way. See how the pranksters in the video get the man talking with some simple questions and innocent conversation and smoothly make the transition to the actual windup thay have in store.
Making the transition.
A good way to bridge the gap between innocent conversation and your outrageous line-up is to bring in the element of confusion. If you watched the video you will have heard this transition start at about 2:26.
A soon as they react with surprise, it's time to increase the heat and pile on the humiliation.
Unleashing the prank.
Now that you've reached this stage of the prank call, it's time to have some fun.
You can now say outrageous things, ask strange questions and listen to the responses whilst the person still actually believes it's a genuine call.
There are many options available from here, but remember, the more convincing, the more you can get away with and the more fun you will have.
The best way to prepare for a prank call is to write the headlings down on a piece of paper and use bullet points to act as a quick reference if you get lost.
As you can probably recall, these sort of pranks calls usually end up turning into very unconvincing stories, silly amounts of laughter and the phone being slammed down by the other person more or less straight away, which is no fun.
The most convincing and rewarding prank calls arise from keeping your "victim" on the phone for as long as possible, thereby making them believe that every word you are saying is true and generally making them looking like a bit of a buffoon.
Prank call masters know what it takes in order to pull the most outrageous pranks off. Read on to find out how you can too using our special formula.
Prank Call Examples
There are a lot of prank call videos on YouTube, but apart from being fun to watch, they won't help you generate your own prank ideas by themselves, and trying to replicate a prank call seen elsewhere will often sound false.
What you need is a formula...
A formula is very useful in this situation because it will allow you to plug in your own ideas under the different headings below and come up with something that will go down a treat. A good way to explain how the formula works is to refer to an actual prank call, which we will do below.
The Headings
Introduction - Introduce Yourself.
They say it's important to make a good first impression. Well the same goes for creating a good prank call.
You need to captivate your "victim" and make them curious. Saying something out of the blue or random during the first 5 seconds will usually sound the alarms and will either cause them to hang up or get angry and then hang up!
The conversation has to be very believable. Watch this video on YouTube to see what I mean (Come back though!) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDui3KQwG6c.
The pranksters start by introducing themselves with phony names to add credibility and start the conversation off.
Create a situation.
Make your "victim" curious and interested in what you are saying. Engage them in easy to understand conversation and listen to their reaction. This allows you to build a topic for the call and also explore their limits aswell. It's really an extension of the introduction.
Listen to how the pranksters start talking about the new local school that is about to open...
Ask some questions.
Asking simple and non private questions work well to get them talking. This is the key foundation work to build up credibility. Only ask questions after you've followed the above introductions, otherwise most people will get paranoid and hang up or act closed, which is not something you want to deal with during a prank call.
Remember the goal of the prank is to reel your "victim" in and then eventually humiliate them in some way. See how the pranksters in the video get the man talking with some simple questions and innocent conversation and smoothly make the transition to the actual windup thay have in store.
Making the transition.
A good way to bridge the gap between innocent conversation and your outrageous line-up is to bring in the element of confusion. If you watched the video you will have heard this transition start at about 2:26.
A soon as they react with surprise, it's time to increase the heat and pile on the humiliation.
Unleashing the prank.
Now that you've reached this stage of the prank call, it's time to have some fun.
You can now say outrageous things, ask strange questions and listen to the responses whilst the person still actually believes it's a genuine call.
There are many options available from here, but remember, the more convincing, the more you can get away with and the more fun you will have.
The best way to prepare for a prank call is to write the headlings down on a piece of paper and use bullet points to act as a quick reference if you get lost.
How to Get Revenge on Your Ex in 1 Easy Step
Breaking up from any relationship can be hard, and sometimes it can't be avoided or you grow apart for whatever reason; and that’s easier to accept; easier than if you ended on a bad note or worse still, there were lies or cheating involved.
If you're reading this article then it's likely that you have bad feelings about your breakup, especially if you were lied to or still don't know what happened, leaving a feeling of hurt and betrayal.
So what can you do?
Well first of all, putting aside your feelings for a second may reveal that all you want is for them to feel the same they made you feel, rather than win them back. After all, do you really want to date someone who is untrustworthy?
If you have a sense of humour, then you're in luck, but if you haven't you might want to get one before you read on...
Humiliation is a great way to get back at your ex, but in order to be successful you have to be convincing. Any element of "being discovered" is probably going to humiliate you more than them.
If you know the person, it's even harder to be convincing because there will always be something in the back of your mind that asks "what if he/she knows it's me?" Loser springs to mind.
So how can you be a winner instead of a loser and give them the humiliation they deserve?>
One great way is to use a prank call to humiliate your ex.
You may be thinking: “I’ve searched for ways to get back at my ex and this is the great solution? This sucks.”
But don't be so fast.
You may or may not have heard of the special prank call services that actually “listen in” to what your "victim" says and respond accordingly, whilst you listen in secretly and anonymously to their reaction.
Essentially these services use Artificial Intelligence technology along with professional voice actors to provide you with incredibly realistic automated prank calls that will have them fooled every time.
You may already have many ideas on how to get revenge on your ex, but one of the most effective pranks is definitely the wind up call from the sexual disease clinic…
Give your ex a prank call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic.
Your ex will receive a phone call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic saying that they have been named by an ex partner, and there is a strong possibility of them having contracted the dreadful Zachary Syndrome? It's not pretty and has an unusually painful treatment...
The prank call goes on to ask a series of embarrassing questions about their love life, and because they think they were named by an ex partner, you won't believe the honest answers you will hear!
The questions are specifically constructed to keep your ex talking and answering the dodgy questions they are being asked, which become more and more outrageous as the call goes on.
The neat thing about this particular prank is that it is so convincing that you may get your ex to reveal things that you didn’t even know, and if they cheated on you they will be very worried indeed!
So if you feel this is exactly what they deserve, then you should consider the sexual disease clinic prank…
You won't have to worry about laughing out loud and blowing the whole prank either because they can't hear you. In fact, it’s a great time to put your phone on loudspeaker for maximum humiliation!
If you're reading this article then it's likely that you have bad feelings about your breakup, especially if you were lied to or still don't know what happened, leaving a feeling of hurt and betrayal.
So what can you do?
Well first of all, putting aside your feelings for a second may reveal that all you want is for them to feel the same they made you feel, rather than win them back. After all, do you really want to date someone who is untrustworthy?
If you have a sense of humour, then you're in luck, but if you haven't you might want to get one before you read on...
Humiliation is a great way to get back at your ex, but in order to be successful you have to be convincing. Any element of "being discovered" is probably going to humiliate you more than them.
If you know the person, it's even harder to be convincing because there will always be something in the back of your mind that asks "what if he/she knows it's me?" Loser springs to mind.
So how can you be a winner instead of a loser and give them the humiliation they deserve?>
One great way is to use a prank call to humiliate your ex.
You may be thinking: “I’ve searched for ways to get back at my ex and this is the great solution? This sucks.”
But don't be so fast.
You may or may not have heard of the special prank call services that actually “listen in” to what your "victim" says and respond accordingly, whilst you listen in secretly and anonymously to their reaction.
Essentially these services use Artificial Intelligence technology along with professional voice actors to provide you with incredibly realistic automated prank calls that will have them fooled every time.
You may already have many ideas on how to get revenge on your ex, but one of the most effective pranks is definitely the wind up call from the sexual disease clinic…
Give your ex a prank call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic.
Your ex will receive a phone call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic saying that they have been named by an ex partner, and there is a strong possibility of them having contracted the dreadful Zachary Syndrome? It's not pretty and has an unusually painful treatment...
The prank call goes on to ask a series of embarrassing questions about their love life, and because they think they were named by an ex partner, you won't believe the honest answers you will hear!
The questions are specifically constructed to keep your ex talking and answering the dodgy questions they are being asked, which become more and more outrageous as the call goes on.
The neat thing about this particular prank is that it is so convincing that you may get your ex to reveal things that you didn’t even know, and if they cheated on you they will be very worried indeed!
So if you feel this is exactly what they deserve, then you should consider the sexual disease clinic prank…
You won't have to worry about laughing out loud and blowing the whole prank either because they can't hear you. In fact, it’s a great time to put your phone on loudspeaker for maximum humiliation!
Stealing and Rebuilding Amy Winehouse's Rubbish, by Vice Magazine
Ok, I know stealing Amy Winehouse's garbage was a cheap shot. But obvious jokes are obvious jokes for a reason; when something is so obviously funny and retarded that every single person in the world is making fun of it, then you know you're onto a winner. That's why farting is still funny.
The real challenge was finding her house. I tried googling a bunch of stuff, but had no luck. So I resorted to next-level CSI tactics. Me and my housemate spent hours scanning every YouTube video and paparazzi photo we could find of Amy Winehouse either in or around her house. After a while we got a pretty good idea of what the area she lived in looked like and were able to sketch a (really really really inaccurate) map.
And before anyone points it out in the comments section, I now know that I could have just looked at any article about her (ex?) husband's trial to find out her address. Or done a search for "Amy Winehouse" on Google Maps. But w/eves. I knew she was away when we went to her house because I'd seen pictures of her looking healthy (ie: like Jewish Gollum) in the paper. I figured her bins would be locked inside because she's such an obvious target, but we lucked out and there was a yellow wheelie bin with two full bags inside. When we were sure no one was looking, we picked them both up and ran to a little park near her house. The first bag which had been really really heavy, turned out to be full of cat litter.
So joke's on me I guess; if l will insist on living in the gutter, then eventually I'm going to get covered in cat turd. The second bag was full of shards of broken glass which, after a little inspection turned out to be a goldfish bowl.
So, surprisingly, Winehouse had dull trash. I guess I could try and work on some theory about her breaking the bowl in some drug-induced rampage (and maybe link the cat litter to her no-longer being able to use a toilet) but I think what probably happened is that whoever was looking after her cat broke her goldfish bowl. We ditched the cat shit and took the glass home. Then we started the long and tiresome mission to reconstruct the bowl.
After super-gluing my hands, the bowl, and a cup of coffee to my kitchen table, me and some friends managed to reassemble it. Good as new!
I was going to hold onto it until she got back from St Lucia, but I heard rumours she's moving there for good and then I felt a little pity toward her after seeing that whole thing about how she got robbed and really, I'm just sick of looking at the fucking thing. So I took it back last night. I even wrapped it up nice and attached a little note.
When got there, I could tell someone was home because I could see them moving around through the blinds. I rang the buzzer, but no one answered. So I just left the box on the doorstep.
After waiting around a corner for a couple of minutes, I went back to see if it was still there, but it had vanished. So I guess it's in the hands of Amy's people now. Either that or the hands of someone who saw a box marked 'Ms A. Winehouse' in the street and stole it. Actually, thinking about it, I kind of hope her people don't have it, because, by returning something to her house that was there when she left (and putting my full name on the note that accompanied it) I may have accidentally framed myself in the robbery of chateau Winehouse.
The real challenge was finding her house. I tried googling a bunch of stuff, but had no luck. So I resorted to next-level CSI tactics. Me and my housemate spent hours scanning every YouTube video and paparazzi photo we could find of Amy Winehouse either in or around her house. After a while we got a pretty good idea of what the area she lived in looked like and were able to sketch a (really really really inaccurate) map.
And before anyone points it out in the comments section, I now know that I could have just looked at any article about her (ex?) husband's trial to find out her address. Or done a search for "Amy Winehouse" on Google Maps. But w/eves. I knew she was away when we went to her house because I'd seen pictures of her looking healthy (ie: like Jewish Gollum) in the paper. I figured her bins would be locked inside because she's such an obvious target, but we lucked out and there was a yellow wheelie bin with two full bags inside. When we were sure no one was looking, we picked them both up and ran to a little park near her house. The first bag which had been really really heavy, turned out to be full of cat litter.
So joke's on me I guess; if l will insist on living in the gutter, then eventually I'm going to get covered in cat turd. The second bag was full of shards of broken glass which, after a little inspection turned out to be a goldfish bowl.
So, surprisingly, Winehouse had dull trash. I guess I could try and work on some theory about her breaking the bowl in some drug-induced rampage (and maybe link the cat litter to her no-longer being able to use a toilet) but I think what probably happened is that whoever was looking after her cat broke her goldfish bowl. We ditched the cat shit and took the glass home. Then we started the long and tiresome mission to reconstruct the bowl.
After super-gluing my hands, the bowl, and a cup of coffee to my kitchen table, me and some friends managed to reassemble it. Good as new!
I was going to hold onto it until she got back from St Lucia, but I heard rumours she's moving there for good and then I felt a little pity toward her after seeing that whole thing about how she got robbed and really, I'm just sick of looking at the fucking thing. So I took it back last night. I even wrapped it up nice and attached a little note.
When got there, I could tell someone was home because I could see them moving around through the blinds. I rang the buzzer, but no one answered. So I just left the box on the doorstep.
After waiting around a corner for a couple of minutes, I went back to see if it was still there, but it had vanished. So I guess it's in the hands of Amy's people now. Either that or the hands of someone who saw a box marked 'Ms A. Winehouse' in the street and stole it. Actually, thinking about it, I kind of hope her people don't have it, because, by returning something to her house that was there when she left (and putting my full name on the note that accompanied it) I may have accidentally framed myself in the robbery of chateau Winehouse.
Humorous T-Shirts - A Unique Gift Guaranteed to Raise a Smile
If you are looking for that unique personal gift that will make your chosen recipient smile, and is sure to be appreciated, a t-shirt with that funny joke or one liner on it or an amusing unusual picture or graphic is an ideal solution
Giving the gift of laughter in the form of a t-shirt can be seen in many different ways. You can use it to share a joke with your fellow human beings, or it can be enjoyed solely by the wearer of the t-shirt. They can be clean risque or just plain offensive, its your choice. Some rude ones are designed to shock the person who reads it, and the wearer of these type of humorous t-shirts has to be a certain type who enjoys the reaction this will get. When buying a funny t-shirt as a gift it is important to consider the personality of the intended recipient.
These garments can also make a social or political statement as well, they can deliver a message or an opinion, and are a great way of showing our personal identity. When one wears a funny t-shirt they are stating, "This is who I am and this is what I believe". Funny t-shirts are also a good way to break the ice in a social situation. Men and women no longer have to struggle with cheesy pick-up lines as they can simply state their interests on a funny tee.
They are as varied as you want them to be with inventive graphics or just a printed message , even if the t-shirt contains no graphics they can look very decorative with a unique and funny message emblazoned on the front for the whole world to see. With inventive design even plain prose with no graphical element can still be bright and attractive as there are thousands of fonts to liven up the words.
All-in-all, funny t-shirts are a great way to share laughter with your fellow man . You can cheer up any situation with a joke Just by wearing one yourself. Or buy them for friends or family as an ideal gift. its also an easy way to let people see your humorous side no matter how shy you may feel.
If you are looking for that unique funny t-shirt for yourself or a friend or relative take a look at http://www.naturally-stoned.com site. Their designs range from clean to risque, offensive or just funny, pictures or graphical images all designed by professional graphic designers and award winning photographers.
If you are of an artistic bent then why not make your own, at http://www.zazzle.com/naturally-stoned* . You can put your design on not only t-shirts, but a massive range of other personal gifts, including mugs, shoes, skateboards, figurines and many more, and if you are stuck for inspiration there are literally millions of designs that you can choose from.
Giving the gift of laughter in the form of a t-shirt can be seen in many different ways. You can use it to share a joke with your fellow human beings, or it can be enjoyed solely by the wearer of the t-shirt. They can be clean risque or just plain offensive, its your choice. Some rude ones are designed to shock the person who reads it, and the wearer of these type of humorous t-shirts has to be a certain type who enjoys the reaction this will get. When buying a funny t-shirt as a gift it is important to consider the personality of the intended recipient.
These garments can also make a social or political statement as well, they can deliver a message or an opinion, and are a great way of showing our personal identity. When one wears a funny t-shirt they are stating, "This is who I am and this is what I believe". Funny t-shirts are also a good way to break the ice in a social situation. Men and women no longer have to struggle with cheesy pick-up lines as they can simply state their interests on a funny tee.
They are as varied as you want them to be with inventive graphics or just a printed message , even if the t-shirt contains no graphics they can look very decorative with a unique and funny message emblazoned on the front for the whole world to see. With inventive design even plain prose with no graphical element can still be bright and attractive as there are thousands of fonts to liven up the words.
All-in-all, funny t-shirts are a great way to share laughter with your fellow man . You can cheer up any situation with a joke Just by wearing one yourself. Or buy them for friends or family as an ideal gift. its also an easy way to let people see your humorous side no matter how shy you may feel.
If you are looking for that unique funny t-shirt for yourself or a friend or relative take a look at http://www.naturally-stoned.com site. Their designs range from clean to risque, offensive or just funny, pictures or graphical images all designed by professional graphic designers and award winning photographers.
If you are of an artistic bent then why not make your own, at http://www.zazzle.com/naturally-stoned* . You can put your design on not only t-shirts, but a massive range of other personal gifts, including mugs, shoes, skateboards, figurines and many more, and if you are stuck for inspiration there are literally millions of designs that you can choose from.
Humorous T-Shirts - A Unique Gift Guaranteed to Raise a Smile
If you are looking for that unique personal gift that will make your chosen recipient smile, and is sure to be appreciated, a t-shirt with that funny joke or one liner on it or an amusing unusual picture or graphic is an ideal solution
Giving the gift of laughter in the form of a t-shirt can be seen in many different ways. You can use it to share a joke with your fellow human beings, or it can be enjoyed solely by the wearer of the t-shirt. They can be clean risque or just plain offensive, its your choice. Some rude ones are designed to shock the person who reads it, and the wearer of these type of humorous t-shirts has to be a certain type who enjoys the reaction this will get. When buying a funny t-shirt as a gift it is important to consider the personality of the intended recipient.
These garments can also make a social or political statement as well, they can deliver a message or an opinion, and are a great way of showing our personal identity. When one wears a funny t-shirt they are stating, "This is who I am and this is what I believe". Funny t-shirts are also a good way to break the ice in a social situation. Men and women no longer have to struggle with cheesy pick-up lines as they can simply state their interests on a funny tee.
They are as varied as you want them to be with inventive graphics or just a printed message , even if the t-shirt contains no graphics they can look very decorative with a unique and funny message emblazoned on the front for the whole world to see. With inventive design even plain prose with no graphical element can still be bright and attractive as there are thousands of fonts to liven up the words.
All-in-all, funny t-shirts are a great way to share laughter with your fellow man . You can cheer up any situation with a joke Just by wearing one yourself. Or buy them for friends or family as an ideal gift. its also an easy way to let people see your humorous side no matter how shy you may feel.
If you are looking for that unique funny t-shirt for yourself or a friend or relative take a look at http://www.naturally-stoned.com site. Their designs range from clean to risque, offensive or just funny, pictures or graphical images all designed by professional graphic designers and award winning photographers.
If you are of an artistic bent then why not make your own, at http://www.zazzle.com/naturally-stoned* . You can put your design on not only t-shirts, but a massive range of other personal gifts, including mugs, shoes, skateboards, figurines and many more, and if you are stuck for inspiration there are literally millions of designs that you can choose from.
Giving the gift of laughter in the form of a t-shirt can be seen in many different ways. You can use it to share a joke with your fellow human beings, or it can be enjoyed solely by the wearer of the t-shirt. They can be clean risque or just plain offensive, its your choice. Some rude ones are designed to shock the person who reads it, and the wearer of these type of humorous t-shirts has to be a certain type who enjoys the reaction this will get. When buying a funny t-shirt as a gift it is important to consider the personality of the intended recipient.
These garments can also make a social or political statement as well, they can deliver a message or an opinion, and are a great way of showing our personal identity. When one wears a funny t-shirt they are stating, "This is who I am and this is what I believe". Funny t-shirts are also a good way to break the ice in a social situation. Men and women no longer have to struggle with cheesy pick-up lines as they can simply state their interests on a funny tee.
They are as varied as you want them to be with inventive graphics or just a printed message , even if the t-shirt contains no graphics they can look very decorative with a unique and funny message emblazoned on the front for the whole world to see. With inventive design even plain prose with no graphical element can still be bright and attractive as there are thousands of fonts to liven up the words.
All-in-all, funny t-shirts are a great way to share laughter with your fellow man . You can cheer up any situation with a joke Just by wearing one yourself. Or buy them for friends or family as an ideal gift. its also an easy way to let people see your humorous side no matter how shy you may feel.
If you are looking for that unique funny t-shirt for yourself or a friend or relative take a look at http://www.naturally-stoned.com site. Their designs range from clean to risque, offensive or just funny, pictures or graphical images all designed by professional graphic designers and award winning photographers.
If you are of an artistic bent then why not make your own, at http://www.zazzle.com/naturally-stoned* . You can put your design on not only t-shirts, but a massive range of other personal gifts, including mugs, shoes, skateboards, figurines and many more, and if you are stuck for inspiration there are literally millions of designs that you can choose from.
Chihuahuas Have No Fear of Satan
Common household pets aren't very religious by nature; indeed, I've never noticed either of my chihuahuas showing any interest whatsoever in reading my Bible.
But they sure don't like Satan. In fact, they chased him out of our apartment complex.
The dogs had taken me for my morning walk the other day. They take me outside twice a day, in return for which I feed them, bathe them, give them lots of scratching and allow them to sleep as much as they want.
They'd stopped for a moment to inspect their markings on the nearest telephone pole when I heard Satan sneaking up behind me.
"Satan!" a man's voice bellowed from a nearby apartment door. "You leave those little dogs alone!"
As I turned, I saw Satan for the first time in my life — a full-grown German Shepherd (y'all don't believe those stories you hear about him having horns and such). He loped across the parking lot, eager to work wickedness.
Smedley hit him first, launching all four pounds of pure chihuahua fury at Satan's chest. After bouncing off the 100-pound monster the first time, he found a tooth hold on Satan's back.
Rusty attacked from the rear, getting the shepherd's leg in his jaws and gnawing away like it was a rib bone. When I think about it now, it was kinda funny, watching that big dog shaking his leg with its five-pound attachment.
Jerry Falwell never did a better job. Satan started running.
Smedley and Rusty fell off before the big'un had gone too far, and they chased him halfway across the vacant field adjacent to our apartments before the big devil's longer legs enabled him to pull away. The man from the apartment who'd called him earlier rushed by, mumbling apologies, and we saw them disappear around the corner.
Smedley (that's Lieutenant Colonel Smedley D. Butler) and Rusty (Sergeant Major Russell J. Chihooiehooie) normally don't like each other all that much, near as I can tell, but the Houston Rockets never displayed the kind of teamwork those two showed when fighting Satan.
I guess I should've expected it of Rusty; several years ago he put 137 stitches in a Doberman after the attack dog had foolishly wandered into my brother's yard and started chasing around my 4-year-old niece. Age may have made him a tad slower and his teeth less sharp, but he can still scrap with the best of 'em — even when it means gumming 'em to death.
Smedley, however, surprised me. He's always been a coward — you know, the chihuahua who hides under the couch until the band of kids wanders by, jumping out to nip the last one in line and then diving back under the couch.
I named him for a two-time Medal of Honor winner and had heretofore regretted that somewhat.
I told my preacher about the incident and he got a big kick out of it, and even worked it into his sermon the other day. He still won't let me bring 'em to church, though; he says he doesn't trust 'em with all that nice wood around.
Satan stays away from us now. I talked with the man he rooms with later, and he told me he'd run almost three blocks before Satan finally let him catch up. "Those little dogs scared him to death," he said.
Personally, I think they just put the fear of God into him.
But they sure don't like Satan. In fact, they chased him out of our apartment complex.
The dogs had taken me for my morning walk the other day. They take me outside twice a day, in return for which I feed them, bathe them, give them lots of scratching and allow them to sleep as much as they want.
They'd stopped for a moment to inspect their markings on the nearest telephone pole when I heard Satan sneaking up behind me.
"Satan!" a man's voice bellowed from a nearby apartment door. "You leave those little dogs alone!"
As I turned, I saw Satan for the first time in my life — a full-grown German Shepherd (y'all don't believe those stories you hear about him having horns and such). He loped across the parking lot, eager to work wickedness.
Smedley hit him first, launching all four pounds of pure chihuahua fury at Satan's chest. After bouncing off the 100-pound monster the first time, he found a tooth hold on Satan's back.
Rusty attacked from the rear, getting the shepherd's leg in his jaws and gnawing away like it was a rib bone. When I think about it now, it was kinda funny, watching that big dog shaking his leg with its five-pound attachment.
Jerry Falwell never did a better job. Satan started running.
Smedley and Rusty fell off before the big'un had gone too far, and they chased him halfway across the vacant field adjacent to our apartments before the big devil's longer legs enabled him to pull away. The man from the apartment who'd called him earlier rushed by, mumbling apologies, and we saw them disappear around the corner.
Smedley (that's Lieutenant Colonel Smedley D. Butler) and Rusty (Sergeant Major Russell J. Chihooiehooie) normally don't like each other all that much, near as I can tell, but the Houston Rockets never displayed the kind of teamwork those two showed when fighting Satan.
I guess I should've expected it of Rusty; several years ago he put 137 stitches in a Doberman after the attack dog had foolishly wandered into my brother's yard and started chasing around my 4-year-old niece. Age may have made him a tad slower and his teeth less sharp, but he can still scrap with the best of 'em — even when it means gumming 'em to death.
Smedley, however, surprised me. He's always been a coward — you know, the chihuahua who hides under the couch until the band of kids wanders by, jumping out to nip the last one in line and then diving back under the couch.
I named him for a two-time Medal of Honor winner and had heretofore regretted that somewhat.
I told my preacher about the incident and he got a big kick out of it, and even worked it into his sermon the other day. He still won't let me bring 'em to church, though; he says he doesn't trust 'em with all that nice wood around.
Satan stays away from us now. I talked with the man he rooms with later, and he told me he'd run almost three blocks before Satan finally let him catch up. "Those little dogs scared him to death," he said.
Personally, I think they just put the fear of God into him.
The 5th Way Team Discusses Physical Fitness
It is Wendell's first time with the 5th Way team at their gym. Let's see what happens through Wendell's eyes.
Addison: "Wendell, since this is your first time here I would like for you to just go around the gym observing what everyone is doing, then come to me last."
Wendell: "Okay, Addison."
Addison: "Alright, everyone have a great workout and I will see you in the dining area for refreshments afterwards."
Wendell: Boy, this is so exciting. I can't wait to see this! Hhhhmmmm... I think I will start with Zhi and work my way from there. There he is. Wow, Zhi is doing some kind of Tai Chi form. He is so graceful, so captivating to watch. I could sit here all day just watching him.
Splash!
Ah, someone must be in the pool swimming. I will check it out. Oh my goodness, Waneta is naked in the pool!!! How embarrassing. (His face is turning red) I better get out of here before she catches me looking at her. I have to say she does seem to be in very good shape for her age though. Whew!
"Ooooosh.... Eeeyiii!!!"
What was that? Oh, Naruto and Catharsis are doing some kind of martial art. Wow, they are great...I can see why Naruto is in charge of security for the team. (laughing) Even when he is doing martial arts, Catharsis is a character! Well, I better move on and see what Kailoken is up to.
Hhhhmmmm...why Kailoken is just sitting there looking at the weights. "Sorry to disturb you Kailoken but are you not working out today?"
Kailoken: "Good timing on your part there. Would you please remove 20 pounds of weight off that bar for me?"
Wendell: "Why sure I will. Are you doing bench presses?"
Kailoken: "Actually, I am lifting the weight with my mind. It seemed a little heavy so I asked you to remove the extra weight."
Wendell: (rolling his eyes) "Well, I will let you get back to your workout there. Talk with you later." That Kailoken is a real nutcase. You never know what he is going to do. Okay, well, that leaves Addison... I better get on over there.
Addison: "Wendell, I see you have made the rounds already. As you can see I am in the middle of my aerobic workout. This Nordic Track gives a great workout. Why don't you take about 25 minutes, get a good workout on your own and meet up with the rest of us later?"
Wendell: "Will do, Addison."
--- The team is forming up in the dining area---
Wendell: "Hello, everyone." "Greetings" "Namaste" "Welcome" "As salaam alikum" "Aho"
Catharsis: "Did you get yourself a good workout there, Wendell?"
Wendell: "Yes, I did some yoga...it was quite peaceful and relaxing."
Addison: "That is great; I highly recommend many forms of yoga. Go ahead and grab yourself some refreshment and join us around the table here... Now that Wendell is settled let's see what you have observed today. Feel free to comment on and question everyone at the table on what he or she was doing for a workout. Everyone feel free to join in at any time."
Wendell: "Since I started watching Zhi first, I would like to ask what form of Tai Chi you were doing? I mean, it looked so fluid whatever it was."
Zhi: "Ah, very good. I was doing The Eight Treasures. It is a very ancient form of energy enhancement exercise, and is said to be at least six thousand years old. With this exercise I tone, strengthen, and stretch to maintain my good health and prevent disease."
Wendell: "Can anyone do it? It looked so easy the way you were going through the motions."
Catharsis: "Don't let your perceptions fool you kid, Zhi has been doing those forms since he was a child. I would not be surprised if his parents started him off doing the moves while he was still in the womb! Heck, he probably even helped his mom do the flying dragon by lifting her off the ground a few inches with his movement from within."
Zhi: "Ah, that's a very interesting idea. The great thing about The Eight Treasures is that anyone at any fitness level can do them."
Wendell: "I would like to learn that if you would teach me. And I would like to learn what Naruto was doing too. What kind of martial arts were you and Catharsis doing?"
Naruto: "It is called Ju Jutsu. I began learning this as a child in my homeland of Japan. With this form not only do you get a great workout, you can properly defend yourself and others."
Addison: "I suggest that you start with one discipline and work at it until you have a solid grounding and then move on to another with the consultation of your instructors. Zhi would you be willing to take Wendell on as a student?"
Zhi: "I would be much honored to have new student. Wendell and I can talk about it later."
Catharsis: "You know what's scary to many people when they think of physical fitness? They think they will get hurt doing it. 'I am not going to go running, what if I step on a rusty nail, what if a rabid chipmunk gets a hold of me?!'"
Addison: "Yes, people have fears about practically everything in life. Some people fear they will hurt themselves just getting out of bed in the morning. However, there are people that do hurt themselves while performing various types of physical exercise. These injuries are usually due to overdoing something or using a wrong technique."
Catharsis: "Or, they beat each other to a pulp 'playing' rugby, football, etc."
Naruto: "If people pay attention and have good instructor, then no problem. Staying physically fit is very important. Even the blessed Buddha say so."
Waneta: "While many of my people have followed the white man into gluttony and physical laziness, physical fitness has been important to us for centuries. We like to run, swim, dance and play outdoor games." Wendell's face starts to turn red.
Catharsis: "Is something the matter there kid? You didn't happen to catch Waneta swimming in the buff did you?" (laughing)
Wendell: "I, uh, yes. I am sorry Waneta for seeing you like that, I mean for invading your privacy."
Waneta: "Boy, being naked is a natural thing and I am not ashamed of it. Just wait until you see me swimming in the moonlight!" Wendell's face turns even redder and he looks down and away.
Addison: "Try not to let it bother you Wendell, we are all one happy family here. Many things you have been taught by society do not hold up as being true here. What did you observe Kailoken doing?"
Wendell: "Well, I did not observe him doing anything but sitting there. He did say he was lifting weights with his mind though."
Catharsis: "That is great, how much did you manage to lift this time?"
Kailoken: "I managed to lift 200 pounds. I was taking it easy so as not to strain my mind."
Addison: "What do you make of that Wendell?"
Wendell: "Well, uh.... I am not sure."
Addison: "As is typical of my wonderful associate here, Kailoken was making a point that one can actually run through exercises using one's mind alone. And, as most of us here know, when it is real to the mind, it affects the body as well. Many athletes actually use this technique to help perfect their performance. This is something that people who are bed-ridden and otherwise not able to do physical fitness that well can utilize to get some physical benefit. Those that are really out of shape can perhaps start imagining that they are doing the actual exercise within their minds and then move on to the real thing from there."
Wendell: "That is very very interesting. I never thought of that before."
Catharsis: "You know what I find weird about physical fitness? People who need it the most are the most resistant to doing it. It is like they fall into some black hole of atrophy and cannot break free. 'Help me! Help me! Get me out of here, somebody!'"
Addison: "Yes, many people just do not seem to be able to break that inertia to begin getting started to a healthier state of being. That is why I suggest just gentle movement to start with. Walking, mental exercise, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, Hatha Yoga, and swimming can all be good forms of gentle movement for most people at any age. 1.5 miles of walking has been shown to be as good as 1 mile of running, for instance." "Okay, Zhi and Wendell can talk about Tai Chi instruction. May you all have a spiritually productive day. Love and Light to you."
"Namaste" "Later, Addison" "Peace to you my friend" "I will catch up with you later, Addison"...
Addison: "Wendell, since this is your first time here I would like for you to just go around the gym observing what everyone is doing, then come to me last."
Wendell: "Okay, Addison."
Addison: "Alright, everyone have a great workout and I will see you in the dining area for refreshments afterwards."
Wendell: Boy, this is so exciting. I can't wait to see this! Hhhhmmmm... I think I will start with Zhi and work my way from there. There he is. Wow, Zhi is doing some kind of Tai Chi form. He is so graceful, so captivating to watch. I could sit here all day just watching him.
Splash!
Ah, someone must be in the pool swimming. I will check it out. Oh my goodness, Waneta is naked in the pool!!! How embarrassing. (His face is turning red) I better get out of here before she catches me looking at her. I have to say she does seem to be in very good shape for her age though. Whew!
"Ooooosh.... Eeeyiii!!!"
What was that? Oh, Naruto and Catharsis are doing some kind of martial art. Wow, they are great...I can see why Naruto is in charge of security for the team. (laughing) Even when he is doing martial arts, Catharsis is a character! Well, I better move on and see what Kailoken is up to.
Hhhhmmmm...why Kailoken is just sitting there looking at the weights. "Sorry to disturb you Kailoken but are you not working out today?"
Kailoken: "Good timing on your part there. Would you please remove 20 pounds of weight off that bar for me?"
Wendell: "Why sure I will. Are you doing bench presses?"
Kailoken: "Actually, I am lifting the weight with my mind. It seemed a little heavy so I asked you to remove the extra weight."
Wendell: (rolling his eyes) "Well, I will let you get back to your workout there. Talk with you later." That Kailoken is a real nutcase. You never know what he is going to do. Okay, well, that leaves Addison... I better get on over there.
Addison: "Wendell, I see you have made the rounds already. As you can see I am in the middle of my aerobic workout. This Nordic Track gives a great workout. Why don't you take about 25 minutes, get a good workout on your own and meet up with the rest of us later?"
Wendell: "Will do, Addison."
--- The team is forming up in the dining area---
Wendell: "Hello, everyone." "Greetings" "Namaste" "Welcome" "As salaam alikum" "Aho"
Catharsis: "Did you get yourself a good workout there, Wendell?"
Wendell: "Yes, I did some yoga...it was quite peaceful and relaxing."
Addison: "That is great; I highly recommend many forms of yoga. Go ahead and grab yourself some refreshment and join us around the table here... Now that Wendell is settled let's see what you have observed today. Feel free to comment on and question everyone at the table on what he or she was doing for a workout. Everyone feel free to join in at any time."
Wendell: "Since I started watching Zhi first, I would like to ask what form of Tai Chi you were doing? I mean, it looked so fluid whatever it was."
Zhi: "Ah, very good. I was doing The Eight Treasures. It is a very ancient form of energy enhancement exercise, and is said to be at least six thousand years old. With this exercise I tone, strengthen, and stretch to maintain my good health and prevent disease."
Wendell: "Can anyone do it? It looked so easy the way you were going through the motions."
Catharsis: "Don't let your perceptions fool you kid, Zhi has been doing those forms since he was a child. I would not be surprised if his parents started him off doing the moves while he was still in the womb! Heck, he probably even helped his mom do the flying dragon by lifting her off the ground a few inches with his movement from within."
Zhi: "Ah, that's a very interesting idea. The great thing about The Eight Treasures is that anyone at any fitness level can do them."
Wendell: "I would like to learn that if you would teach me. And I would like to learn what Naruto was doing too. What kind of martial arts were you and Catharsis doing?"
Naruto: "It is called Ju Jutsu. I began learning this as a child in my homeland of Japan. With this form not only do you get a great workout, you can properly defend yourself and others."
Addison: "I suggest that you start with one discipline and work at it until you have a solid grounding and then move on to another with the consultation of your instructors. Zhi would you be willing to take Wendell on as a student?"
Zhi: "I would be much honored to have new student. Wendell and I can talk about it later."
Catharsis: "You know what's scary to many people when they think of physical fitness? They think they will get hurt doing it. 'I am not going to go running, what if I step on a rusty nail, what if a rabid chipmunk gets a hold of me?!'"
Addison: "Yes, people have fears about practically everything in life. Some people fear they will hurt themselves just getting out of bed in the morning. However, there are people that do hurt themselves while performing various types of physical exercise. These injuries are usually due to overdoing something or using a wrong technique."
Catharsis: "Or, they beat each other to a pulp 'playing' rugby, football, etc."
Naruto: "If people pay attention and have good instructor, then no problem. Staying physically fit is very important. Even the blessed Buddha say so."
Waneta: "While many of my people have followed the white man into gluttony and physical laziness, physical fitness has been important to us for centuries. We like to run, swim, dance and play outdoor games." Wendell's face starts to turn red.
Catharsis: "Is something the matter there kid? You didn't happen to catch Waneta swimming in the buff did you?" (laughing)
Wendell: "I, uh, yes. I am sorry Waneta for seeing you like that, I mean for invading your privacy."
Waneta: "Boy, being naked is a natural thing and I am not ashamed of it. Just wait until you see me swimming in the moonlight!" Wendell's face turns even redder and he looks down and away.
Addison: "Try not to let it bother you Wendell, we are all one happy family here. Many things you have been taught by society do not hold up as being true here. What did you observe Kailoken doing?"
Wendell: "Well, I did not observe him doing anything but sitting there. He did say he was lifting weights with his mind though."
Catharsis: "That is great, how much did you manage to lift this time?"
Kailoken: "I managed to lift 200 pounds. I was taking it easy so as not to strain my mind."
Addison: "What do you make of that Wendell?"
Wendell: "Well, uh.... I am not sure."
Addison: "As is typical of my wonderful associate here, Kailoken was making a point that one can actually run through exercises using one's mind alone. And, as most of us here know, when it is real to the mind, it affects the body as well. Many athletes actually use this technique to help perfect their performance. This is something that people who are bed-ridden and otherwise not able to do physical fitness that well can utilize to get some physical benefit. Those that are really out of shape can perhaps start imagining that they are doing the actual exercise within their minds and then move on to the real thing from there."
Wendell: "That is very very interesting. I never thought of that before."
Catharsis: "You know what I find weird about physical fitness? People who need it the most are the most resistant to doing it. It is like they fall into some black hole of atrophy and cannot break free. 'Help me! Help me! Get me out of here, somebody!'"
Addison: "Yes, many people just do not seem to be able to break that inertia to begin getting started to a healthier state of being. That is why I suggest just gentle movement to start with. Walking, mental exercise, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, Hatha Yoga, and swimming can all be good forms of gentle movement for most people at any age. 1.5 miles of walking has been shown to be as good as 1 mile of running, for instance." "Okay, Zhi and Wendell can talk about Tai Chi instruction. May you all have a spiritually productive day. Love and Light to you."
"Namaste" "Later, Addison" "Peace to you my friend" "I will catch up with you later, Addison"...
Funny Questions About Life
Ever had one of those funny questions about life? Then please read on. When it comes to funny questions and thoughts about life, every time I think I've seen them all I find one I've never seen before or come up with more of my own. The following are some of the ones I've discovered or written however, I know there's more because thats, well... life. So, if you find while reading these funny questions and thoughts about life make you smile, pass them along. All right, let's get started!
Funny Questions about life - Group 1 Why does Hawaiian pizza also contain Canadian Bacon? Grape Nuts cereal. No grapes - no nuts. Huh? What's the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup? Do Dutch people always split the bill? If you use Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread, do you have to use Heavenly Ham?
Funny Questions about life - Group 2 Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale? They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants? Why are oriental rug stores always going out of business? Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Funny Questions about life - Group 3 If it only takes one match to start a forrest fire, why on earth does it take me a whole box of matches and a can of lighter fluid to light my grill? When they ship those styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack them in? How do you know when pickles or sour cream has gone bad?
Funny Questions about life - Group 4 How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning? Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What? If Donkey Kong's main character is a monkey, why isn't it called Monkey Kong? Why does the word lisp have an "s" in it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 5 How come you never read the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"? The next time someone says, "Now I've seen everything", ask them if they've ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space. Has anyone ever really seen a Jolly Rancher? If you get a club soda stain, how do you remove it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 6 Has anyone (besides Donald Trump's wife) ever been fooled by a comb over? Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands? There's senior citizens, so why aren't there junior citizens?
Funny Questions about life - Group 7 They say laughter is the best medicine - so who came up with the phrase, "I died laughing"? Why do doctors leave the room when your getting dressed? After all, they've already seen you naked. What's wrong with the United States? They only have two choices for President, but fifty for Miss America. Any reason they nail down the lid of a coffin? When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?
Funny Questions about life - Group 8 Where do they put price stickers on non-stick pans? If it's called lipstick, why is it always coming off? When they sing, "Take me out to the ball game" they're already there. Why? Who's idea was it to make the word abbreviation so long?
Yes, these are just a few of the Funny Questions about life that try men's -and women's souls. And there's a ton more funny questions about life not listed here. Some of them come to me during the course of a day. For example, why does every shampoo bottle say, lather, rinse, repeat? I'm sorry, did I miss my head entirely the first time or do you just want to sell more shampoo? If you have or have thought up any funny questions of life yourself, feel free to send them along and thanks for wasting a few minutes of your life pondering these funny questions of life. Now get out there and do something good. Like figuring out what people in China call their good plates...
Funny Questions about life - Group 1 Why does Hawaiian pizza also contain Canadian Bacon? Grape Nuts cereal. No grapes - no nuts. Huh? What's the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup? Do Dutch people always split the bill? If you use Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread, do you have to use Heavenly Ham?
Funny Questions about life - Group 2 Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale? They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants? Why are oriental rug stores always going out of business? Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Funny Questions about life - Group 3 If it only takes one match to start a forrest fire, why on earth does it take me a whole box of matches and a can of lighter fluid to light my grill? When they ship those styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack them in? How do you know when pickles or sour cream has gone bad?
Funny Questions about life - Group 4 How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning? Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What? If Donkey Kong's main character is a monkey, why isn't it called Monkey Kong? Why does the word lisp have an "s" in it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 5 How come you never read the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"? The next time someone says, "Now I've seen everything", ask them if they've ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space. Has anyone ever really seen a Jolly Rancher? If you get a club soda stain, how do you remove it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 6 Has anyone (besides Donald Trump's wife) ever been fooled by a comb over? Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands? There's senior citizens, so why aren't there junior citizens?
Funny Questions about life - Group 7 They say laughter is the best medicine - so who came up with the phrase, "I died laughing"? Why do doctors leave the room when your getting dressed? After all, they've already seen you naked. What's wrong with the United States? They only have two choices for President, but fifty for Miss America. Any reason they nail down the lid of a coffin? When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?
Funny Questions about life - Group 8 Where do they put price stickers on non-stick pans? If it's called lipstick, why is it always coming off? When they sing, "Take me out to the ball game" they're already there. Why? Who's idea was it to make the word abbreviation so long?
Yes, these are just a few of the Funny Questions about life that try men's -and women's souls. And there's a ton more funny questions about life not listed here. Some of them come to me during the course of a day. For example, why does every shampoo bottle say, lather, rinse, repeat? I'm sorry, did I miss my head entirely the first time or do you just want to sell more shampoo? If you have or have thought up any funny questions of life yourself, feel free to send them along and thanks for wasting a few minutes of your life pondering these funny questions of life. Now get out there and do something good. Like figuring out what people in China call their good plates...
The Hidden Power of Humor
Philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.” Despite the buffoonish imagery that comes to mind when one considers the joker, the clown or the pie-in-the-face comedian, humor is more than mere silliness. It is an advanced intellectual means of developing new perspectives and coping with extreme circumstances.
A maltreated animal has two potential responses to an abusive master: attack to stop the abuse, or cower/flee to avoid it. He cannot disarm the bully with a witty remark or ironically imitate his master behind his back for his own amusement. One of the first government actions in Nazi Germany was the establishment of a law against treacherous attacks on the state and party that made anti-Nazi humor an act of treason, and there was a reason for this. Research has shown that humor is the most effective means of preventing the indoctrination of brainwashing.
Used as both a shield and a weapon, humor has the power to soothe the most wounded and threaten the most evil. These qualities speak to its inherent potential – a potential that has not yet been entirely tapped or even recognized. Holocaust survivor Emil Fackenheim said, “We kept our morale through humor,” and many other survivors of the Holocaust, POW camps, torture and abuse have shared his sentiment. The stories of these survivors and findings of modern medical research support the notion that humor is an extremely effective tool for managing our advanced awareness and for creating new perspectives to cope with otherwise unbearable environments or circumstances.
Evidence for the direct benefits of humor lie in studies of the body’s chemical reaction to laughter. Among other things, laughter has been shown to reduce stress, boost the immune system and enhance brain chemistry through the release of serotonin and endorphins. Many popular antidepressants target the neurotransmitter serotonin by either blocking its reuptake or increasing production, but one can “self-medicate” using one’s own serotonin supply by watching a funny movie, going to a comedy show or playing a fun game. For the rejected lover or laid off worker, this self-induced boost of serotonin activates a neurochemical reaction that enhances their ability to tolerate the stress response and think creatively of coping options. Humor is a very effective means of dealing with overwhelming emotion and taking control of a situation. Hunter “Patch” Adams, the physician portrayed by Robin Williams in the movie bearing his name, continues to use laughter as a primary tool in his treatment of patients, to great success. He is just one example of many who have witnessed and reported first-hand accounts of how essential humor is to both physical and emotional health.
It has been said that tragedy occurs where the tree, instead of bending, breaks. Amy Bishop, the University of Alabama professor who recently shot three colleagues to death and wounded three others, has frequently been referred to as serious, intense and humorless. She clearly had the intellect to perform at the highest levels of society, but not the tools to cope with the related stresses. Had she taken the time to develop the tool that nature gave her for dealing with that stress, a sense of humor, her three colleagues might still be alive today. Many people have found ways to laugh off much worse things than being denied tenure, and the skill is one that is within us all.
Whereas professors teach us what has been written by other serious academics, comedians tell us what is going on in the world around us through a first-hand account that we can immediately identify with and understand. Comedic news programs such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report owe their phenomenal success to the common desire to hear the truth and face the world, but in tolerable terms. The comedian is not afraid to talk about the fears and concerns that most people try hard to conceal or deny. By not only bringing them into the open but also laughing at and minimizing them, the comedian puts himself and his audience in control and the concealed fears dissipate in the shared light of day.
We have all heard of the “Way of the Warrior” and the “Way of the Buddha,” and we live the “Way of the Professional,” the “Way of the Academic,” the “Way of the Spouse,” the “Way of the Parent,” etc. But for those looking for an easier and more fun path to a happier, healthier life, the “Way of the Comedian” could be the way to go. To those who avoid comedic opportunities in an effort to preserve a reputation as a serious professional, Wittgenstein said, “Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness.” Widely regarded as the greatest philosopher of the 20th century, he speaks words of wisdom.
Some famous individuals who shared this perspective are quoted below:
A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
--William Arthur Ward
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
--Bill Cosby
There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.
--Thomas W. Higginson
The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.
--Jacob August Riis
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
--Francis Bacon
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
--Mohandas Gandhi
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
--Mark Twain
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
--Henry Ward Beecher
A maltreated animal has two potential responses to an abusive master: attack to stop the abuse, or cower/flee to avoid it. He cannot disarm the bully with a witty remark or ironically imitate his master behind his back for his own amusement. One of the first government actions in Nazi Germany was the establishment of a law against treacherous attacks on the state and party that made anti-Nazi humor an act of treason, and there was a reason for this. Research has shown that humor is the most effective means of preventing the indoctrination of brainwashing.
Used as both a shield and a weapon, humor has the power to soothe the most wounded and threaten the most evil. These qualities speak to its inherent potential – a potential that has not yet been entirely tapped or even recognized. Holocaust survivor Emil Fackenheim said, “We kept our morale through humor,” and many other survivors of the Holocaust, POW camps, torture and abuse have shared his sentiment. The stories of these survivors and findings of modern medical research support the notion that humor is an extremely effective tool for managing our advanced awareness and for creating new perspectives to cope with otherwise unbearable environments or circumstances.
Evidence for the direct benefits of humor lie in studies of the body’s chemical reaction to laughter. Among other things, laughter has been shown to reduce stress, boost the immune system and enhance brain chemistry through the release of serotonin and endorphins. Many popular antidepressants target the neurotransmitter serotonin by either blocking its reuptake or increasing production, but one can “self-medicate” using one’s own serotonin supply by watching a funny movie, going to a comedy show or playing a fun game. For the rejected lover or laid off worker, this self-induced boost of serotonin activates a neurochemical reaction that enhances their ability to tolerate the stress response and think creatively of coping options. Humor is a very effective means of dealing with overwhelming emotion and taking control of a situation. Hunter “Patch” Adams, the physician portrayed by Robin Williams in the movie bearing his name, continues to use laughter as a primary tool in his treatment of patients, to great success. He is just one example of many who have witnessed and reported first-hand accounts of how essential humor is to both physical and emotional health.
It has been said that tragedy occurs where the tree, instead of bending, breaks. Amy Bishop, the University of Alabama professor who recently shot three colleagues to death and wounded three others, has frequently been referred to as serious, intense and humorless. She clearly had the intellect to perform at the highest levels of society, but not the tools to cope with the related stresses. Had she taken the time to develop the tool that nature gave her for dealing with that stress, a sense of humor, her three colleagues might still be alive today. Many people have found ways to laugh off much worse things than being denied tenure, and the skill is one that is within us all.
Whereas professors teach us what has been written by other serious academics, comedians tell us what is going on in the world around us through a first-hand account that we can immediately identify with and understand. Comedic news programs such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report owe their phenomenal success to the common desire to hear the truth and face the world, but in tolerable terms. The comedian is not afraid to talk about the fears and concerns that most people try hard to conceal or deny. By not only bringing them into the open but also laughing at and minimizing them, the comedian puts himself and his audience in control and the concealed fears dissipate in the shared light of day.
We have all heard of the “Way of the Warrior” and the “Way of the Buddha,” and we live the “Way of the Professional,” the “Way of the Academic,” the “Way of the Spouse,” the “Way of the Parent,” etc. But for those looking for an easier and more fun path to a happier, healthier life, the “Way of the Comedian” could be the way to go. To those who avoid comedic opportunities in an effort to preserve a reputation as a serious professional, Wittgenstein said, “Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness.” Widely regarded as the greatest philosopher of the 20th century, he speaks words of wisdom.
Some famous individuals who shared this perspective are quoted below:
A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
--William Arthur Ward
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
--Bill Cosby
There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.
--Thomas W. Higginson
The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.
--Jacob August Riis
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
--Francis Bacon
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
--Mohandas Gandhi
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
--Mark Twain
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
--Henry Ward Beecher
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