If you're the sort of person who likes to make prank calls and wind people up in general you'll probably be aware of the many prank call sites on the internet, offering a choice of automated phone windups to play anytime.
The thing is, like every category of services, picking the best site to run with can sometimes be a challenge.
Obviously, the best prank calls are the most convincing, and to achieve convincing prank calls you will need to make sure the prank call service itself is the real deal.
After all, the fun is in reeling someone in and humiliating them at the end right?
But you won't find out if you're "victim" hangs up! You would have just wasted you're money for nothing.
So how can you make sure you're getting the best?
There are 2 main types of automated prank calls service. One is a simple recorded prank call system which plays a recording to your victim hoping that it will achieve a response, but in reality is not credible at all and usually gets picked up on right away. Not much use.
The other uses Artificial Intelligence technology to actually interact with what your victim says just like a normal conversation. The system also "knows" when to take breaks and let them speak and when to ask different questions depending on their reaction. This is the type you want. This type of service also allows you to listen in secretly to your victim's reaction and they won't be able to hear you laugh out loud!
Prank Call Services that use this A.I. technology usually offer a much higher standard & wider range of prank calls to choose from, using professional voice actors to produce them.
When it comes to choosing a Prank Call Site, make sure you only use the best. After all, it's no fun when the person you are calling hangs up the phone after a few seconds is it?
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
4/14/10
Prank Call Ideas - 5 Step Formula to Create Hilarious Prank Calls!
Prank Calls can be a lot of fun, but not when you're sitting there waiting for a decent idea to spring up. It can get very boring.
As you can probably recall, these sort of pranks calls usually end up turning into very unconvincing stories, silly amounts of laughter and the phone being slammed down by the other person more or less straight away, which is no fun.
The most convincing and rewarding prank calls arise from keeping your "victim" on the phone for as long as possible, thereby making them believe that every word you are saying is true and generally making them looking like a bit of a buffoon.
Prank call masters know what it takes in order to pull the most outrageous pranks off. Read on to find out how you can too using our special formula.
Prank Call Examples
There are a lot of prank call videos on YouTube, but apart from being fun to watch, they won't help you generate your own prank ideas by themselves, and trying to replicate a prank call seen elsewhere will often sound false.
What you need is a formula...
A formula is very useful in this situation because it will allow you to plug in your own ideas under the different headings below and come up with something that will go down a treat. A good way to explain how the formula works is to refer to an actual prank call, which we will do below.
The Headings
Introduction - Introduce Yourself.
They say it's important to make a good first impression. Well the same goes for creating a good prank call.
You need to captivate your "victim" and make them curious. Saying something out of the blue or random during the first 5 seconds will usually sound the alarms and will either cause them to hang up or get angry and then hang up!
The conversation has to be very believable. Watch this video on YouTube to see what I mean (Come back though!) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDui3KQwG6c.
The pranksters start by introducing themselves with phony names to add credibility and start the conversation off.
Create a situation.
Make your "victim" curious and interested in what you are saying. Engage them in easy to understand conversation and listen to their reaction. This allows you to build a topic for the call and also explore their limits aswell. It's really an extension of the introduction.
Listen to how the pranksters start talking about the new local school that is about to open...
Ask some questions.
Asking simple and non private questions work well to get them talking. This is the key foundation work to build up credibility. Only ask questions after you've followed the above introductions, otherwise most people will get paranoid and hang up or act closed, which is not something you want to deal with during a prank call.
Remember the goal of the prank is to reel your "victim" in and then eventually humiliate them in some way. See how the pranksters in the video get the man talking with some simple questions and innocent conversation and smoothly make the transition to the actual windup thay have in store.
Making the transition.
A good way to bridge the gap between innocent conversation and your outrageous line-up is to bring in the element of confusion. If you watched the video you will have heard this transition start at about 2:26.
A soon as they react with surprise, it's time to increase the heat and pile on the humiliation.
Unleashing the prank.
Now that you've reached this stage of the prank call, it's time to have some fun.
You can now say outrageous things, ask strange questions and listen to the responses whilst the person still actually believes it's a genuine call.
There are many options available from here, but remember, the more convincing, the more you can get away with and the more fun you will have.
The best way to prepare for a prank call is to write the headlings down on a piece of paper and use bullet points to act as a quick reference if you get lost.
As you can probably recall, these sort of pranks calls usually end up turning into very unconvincing stories, silly amounts of laughter and the phone being slammed down by the other person more or less straight away, which is no fun.
The most convincing and rewarding prank calls arise from keeping your "victim" on the phone for as long as possible, thereby making them believe that every word you are saying is true and generally making them looking like a bit of a buffoon.
Prank call masters know what it takes in order to pull the most outrageous pranks off. Read on to find out how you can too using our special formula.
Prank Call Examples
There are a lot of prank call videos on YouTube, but apart from being fun to watch, they won't help you generate your own prank ideas by themselves, and trying to replicate a prank call seen elsewhere will often sound false.
What you need is a formula...
A formula is very useful in this situation because it will allow you to plug in your own ideas under the different headings below and come up with something that will go down a treat. A good way to explain how the formula works is to refer to an actual prank call, which we will do below.
The Headings
Introduction - Introduce Yourself.
They say it's important to make a good first impression. Well the same goes for creating a good prank call.
You need to captivate your "victim" and make them curious. Saying something out of the blue or random during the first 5 seconds will usually sound the alarms and will either cause them to hang up or get angry and then hang up!
The conversation has to be very believable. Watch this video on YouTube to see what I mean (Come back though!) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDui3KQwG6c.
The pranksters start by introducing themselves with phony names to add credibility and start the conversation off.
Create a situation.
Make your "victim" curious and interested in what you are saying. Engage them in easy to understand conversation and listen to their reaction. This allows you to build a topic for the call and also explore their limits aswell. It's really an extension of the introduction.
Listen to how the pranksters start talking about the new local school that is about to open...
Ask some questions.
Asking simple and non private questions work well to get them talking. This is the key foundation work to build up credibility. Only ask questions after you've followed the above introductions, otherwise most people will get paranoid and hang up or act closed, which is not something you want to deal with during a prank call.
Remember the goal of the prank is to reel your "victim" in and then eventually humiliate them in some way. See how the pranksters in the video get the man talking with some simple questions and innocent conversation and smoothly make the transition to the actual windup thay have in store.
Making the transition.
A good way to bridge the gap between innocent conversation and your outrageous line-up is to bring in the element of confusion. If you watched the video you will have heard this transition start at about 2:26.
A soon as they react with surprise, it's time to increase the heat and pile on the humiliation.
Unleashing the prank.
Now that you've reached this stage of the prank call, it's time to have some fun.
You can now say outrageous things, ask strange questions and listen to the responses whilst the person still actually believes it's a genuine call.
There are many options available from here, but remember, the more convincing, the more you can get away with and the more fun you will have.
The best way to prepare for a prank call is to write the headlings down on a piece of paper and use bullet points to act as a quick reference if you get lost.
How to Get Revenge on Your Ex in 1 Easy Step
Breaking up from any relationship can be hard, and sometimes it can't be avoided or you grow apart for whatever reason; and that’s easier to accept; easier than if you ended on a bad note or worse still, there were lies or cheating involved.
If you're reading this article then it's likely that you have bad feelings about your breakup, especially if you were lied to or still don't know what happened, leaving a feeling of hurt and betrayal.
So what can you do?
Well first of all, putting aside your feelings for a second may reveal that all you want is for them to feel the same they made you feel, rather than win them back. After all, do you really want to date someone who is untrustworthy?
If you have a sense of humour, then you're in luck, but if you haven't you might want to get one before you read on...
Humiliation is a great way to get back at your ex, but in order to be successful you have to be convincing. Any element of "being discovered" is probably going to humiliate you more than them.
If you know the person, it's even harder to be convincing because there will always be something in the back of your mind that asks "what if he/she knows it's me?" Loser springs to mind.
So how can you be a winner instead of a loser and give them the humiliation they deserve?>
One great way is to use a prank call to humiliate your ex.
You may be thinking: “I’ve searched for ways to get back at my ex and this is the great solution? This sucks.”
But don't be so fast.
You may or may not have heard of the special prank call services that actually “listen in” to what your "victim" says and respond accordingly, whilst you listen in secretly and anonymously to their reaction.
Essentially these services use Artificial Intelligence technology along with professional voice actors to provide you with incredibly realistic automated prank calls that will have them fooled every time.
You may already have many ideas on how to get revenge on your ex, but one of the most effective pranks is definitely the wind up call from the sexual disease clinic…
Give your ex a prank call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic.
Your ex will receive a phone call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic saying that they have been named by an ex partner, and there is a strong possibility of them having contracted the dreadful Zachary Syndrome? It's not pretty and has an unusually painful treatment...
The prank call goes on to ask a series of embarrassing questions about their love life, and because they think they were named by an ex partner, you won't believe the honest answers you will hear!
The questions are specifically constructed to keep your ex talking and answering the dodgy questions they are being asked, which become more and more outrageous as the call goes on.
The neat thing about this particular prank is that it is so convincing that you may get your ex to reveal things that you didn’t even know, and if they cheated on you they will be very worried indeed!
So if you feel this is exactly what they deserve, then you should consider the sexual disease clinic prank…
You won't have to worry about laughing out loud and blowing the whole prank either because they can't hear you. In fact, it’s a great time to put your phone on loudspeaker for maximum humiliation!
If you're reading this article then it's likely that you have bad feelings about your breakup, especially if you were lied to or still don't know what happened, leaving a feeling of hurt and betrayal.
So what can you do?
Well first of all, putting aside your feelings for a second may reveal that all you want is for them to feel the same they made you feel, rather than win them back. After all, do you really want to date someone who is untrustworthy?
If you have a sense of humour, then you're in luck, but if you haven't you might want to get one before you read on...
Humiliation is a great way to get back at your ex, but in order to be successful you have to be convincing. Any element of "being discovered" is probably going to humiliate you more than them.
If you know the person, it's even harder to be convincing because there will always be something in the back of your mind that asks "what if he/she knows it's me?" Loser springs to mind.
So how can you be a winner instead of a loser and give them the humiliation they deserve?>
One great way is to use a prank call to humiliate your ex.
You may be thinking: “I’ve searched for ways to get back at my ex and this is the great solution? This sucks.”
But don't be so fast.
You may or may not have heard of the special prank call services that actually “listen in” to what your "victim" says and respond accordingly, whilst you listen in secretly and anonymously to their reaction.
Essentially these services use Artificial Intelligence technology along with professional voice actors to provide you with incredibly realistic automated prank calls that will have them fooled every time.
You may already have many ideas on how to get revenge on your ex, but one of the most effective pranks is definitely the wind up call from the sexual disease clinic…
Give your ex a prank call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic.
Your ex will receive a phone call from a doctor at the sexual disease clinic saying that they have been named by an ex partner, and there is a strong possibility of them having contracted the dreadful Zachary Syndrome? It's not pretty and has an unusually painful treatment...
The prank call goes on to ask a series of embarrassing questions about their love life, and because they think they were named by an ex partner, you won't believe the honest answers you will hear!
The questions are specifically constructed to keep your ex talking and answering the dodgy questions they are being asked, which become more and more outrageous as the call goes on.
The neat thing about this particular prank is that it is so convincing that you may get your ex to reveal things that you didn’t even know, and if they cheated on you they will be very worried indeed!
So if you feel this is exactly what they deserve, then you should consider the sexual disease clinic prank…
You won't have to worry about laughing out loud and blowing the whole prank either because they can't hear you. In fact, it’s a great time to put your phone on loudspeaker for maximum humiliation!
Stealing and Rebuilding Amy Winehouse's Rubbish, by Vice Magazine
Ok, I know stealing Amy Winehouse's garbage was a cheap shot. But obvious jokes are obvious jokes for a reason; when something is so obviously funny and retarded that every single person in the world is making fun of it, then you know you're onto a winner. That's why farting is still funny.
The real challenge was finding her house. I tried googling a bunch of stuff, but had no luck. So I resorted to next-level CSI tactics. Me and my housemate spent hours scanning every YouTube video and paparazzi photo we could find of Amy Winehouse either in or around her house. After a while we got a pretty good idea of what the area she lived in looked like and were able to sketch a (really really really inaccurate) map.
And before anyone points it out in the comments section, I now know that I could have just looked at any article about her (ex?) husband's trial to find out her address. Or done a search for "Amy Winehouse" on Google Maps. But w/eves. I knew she was away when we went to her house because I'd seen pictures of her looking healthy (ie: like Jewish Gollum) in the paper. I figured her bins would be locked inside because she's such an obvious target, but we lucked out and there was a yellow wheelie bin with two full bags inside. When we were sure no one was looking, we picked them both up and ran to a little park near her house. The first bag which had been really really heavy, turned out to be full of cat litter.
So joke's on me I guess; if l will insist on living in the gutter, then eventually I'm going to get covered in cat turd. The second bag was full of shards of broken glass which, after a little inspection turned out to be a goldfish bowl.
So, surprisingly, Winehouse had dull trash. I guess I could try and work on some theory about her breaking the bowl in some drug-induced rampage (and maybe link the cat litter to her no-longer being able to use a toilet) but I think what probably happened is that whoever was looking after her cat broke her goldfish bowl. We ditched the cat shit and took the glass home. Then we started the long and tiresome mission to reconstruct the bowl.
After super-gluing my hands, the bowl, and a cup of coffee to my kitchen table, me and some friends managed to reassemble it. Good as new!
I was going to hold onto it until she got back from St Lucia, but I heard rumours she's moving there for good and then I felt a little pity toward her after seeing that whole thing about how she got robbed and really, I'm just sick of looking at the fucking thing. So I took it back last night. I even wrapped it up nice and attached a little note.
When got there, I could tell someone was home because I could see them moving around through the blinds. I rang the buzzer, but no one answered. So I just left the box on the doorstep.
After waiting around a corner for a couple of minutes, I went back to see if it was still there, but it had vanished. So I guess it's in the hands of Amy's people now. Either that or the hands of someone who saw a box marked 'Ms A. Winehouse' in the street and stole it. Actually, thinking about it, I kind of hope her people don't have it, because, by returning something to her house that was there when she left (and putting my full name on the note that accompanied it) I may have accidentally framed myself in the robbery of chateau Winehouse.
The real challenge was finding her house. I tried googling a bunch of stuff, but had no luck. So I resorted to next-level CSI tactics. Me and my housemate spent hours scanning every YouTube video and paparazzi photo we could find of Amy Winehouse either in or around her house. After a while we got a pretty good idea of what the area she lived in looked like and were able to sketch a (really really really inaccurate) map.
And before anyone points it out in the comments section, I now know that I could have just looked at any article about her (ex?) husband's trial to find out her address. Or done a search for "Amy Winehouse" on Google Maps. But w/eves. I knew she was away when we went to her house because I'd seen pictures of her looking healthy (ie: like Jewish Gollum) in the paper. I figured her bins would be locked inside because she's such an obvious target, but we lucked out and there was a yellow wheelie bin with two full bags inside. When we were sure no one was looking, we picked them both up and ran to a little park near her house. The first bag which had been really really heavy, turned out to be full of cat litter.
So joke's on me I guess; if l will insist on living in the gutter, then eventually I'm going to get covered in cat turd. The second bag was full of shards of broken glass which, after a little inspection turned out to be a goldfish bowl.
So, surprisingly, Winehouse had dull trash. I guess I could try and work on some theory about her breaking the bowl in some drug-induced rampage (and maybe link the cat litter to her no-longer being able to use a toilet) but I think what probably happened is that whoever was looking after her cat broke her goldfish bowl. We ditched the cat shit and took the glass home. Then we started the long and tiresome mission to reconstruct the bowl.
After super-gluing my hands, the bowl, and a cup of coffee to my kitchen table, me and some friends managed to reassemble it. Good as new!
I was going to hold onto it until she got back from St Lucia, but I heard rumours she's moving there for good and then I felt a little pity toward her after seeing that whole thing about how she got robbed and really, I'm just sick of looking at the fucking thing. So I took it back last night. I even wrapped it up nice and attached a little note.
When got there, I could tell someone was home because I could see them moving around through the blinds. I rang the buzzer, but no one answered. So I just left the box on the doorstep.
After waiting around a corner for a couple of minutes, I went back to see if it was still there, but it had vanished. So I guess it's in the hands of Amy's people now. Either that or the hands of someone who saw a box marked 'Ms A. Winehouse' in the street and stole it. Actually, thinking about it, I kind of hope her people don't have it, because, by returning something to her house that was there when she left (and putting my full name on the note that accompanied it) I may have accidentally framed myself in the robbery of chateau Winehouse.
Humorous T-Shirts - A Unique Gift Guaranteed to Raise a Smile
If you are looking for that unique personal gift that will make your chosen recipient smile, and is sure to be appreciated, a t-shirt with that funny joke or one liner on it or an amusing unusual picture or graphic is an ideal solution
Giving the gift of laughter in the form of a t-shirt can be seen in many different ways. You can use it to share a joke with your fellow human beings, or it can be enjoyed solely by the wearer of the t-shirt. They can be clean risque or just plain offensive, its your choice. Some rude ones are designed to shock the person who reads it, and the wearer of these type of humorous t-shirts has to be a certain type who enjoys the reaction this will get. When buying a funny t-shirt as a gift it is important to consider the personality of the intended recipient.
These garments can also make a social or political statement as well, they can deliver a message or an opinion, and are a great way of showing our personal identity. When one wears a funny t-shirt they are stating, "This is who I am and this is what I believe". Funny t-shirts are also a good way to break the ice in a social situation. Men and women no longer have to struggle with cheesy pick-up lines as they can simply state their interests on a funny tee.
They are as varied as you want them to be with inventive graphics or just a printed message , even if the t-shirt contains no graphics they can look very decorative with a unique and funny message emblazoned on the front for the whole world to see. With inventive design even plain prose with no graphical element can still be bright and attractive as there are thousands of fonts to liven up the words.
All-in-all, funny t-shirts are a great way to share laughter with your fellow man . You can cheer up any situation with a joke Just by wearing one yourself. Or buy them for friends or family as an ideal gift. its also an easy way to let people see your humorous side no matter how shy you may feel.
If you are looking for that unique funny t-shirt for yourself or a friend or relative take a look at http://www.naturally-stoned.com site. Their designs range from clean to risque, offensive or just funny, pictures or graphical images all designed by professional graphic designers and award winning photographers.
If you are of an artistic bent then why not make your own, at http://www.zazzle.com/naturally-stoned* . You can put your design on not only t-shirts, but a massive range of other personal gifts, including mugs, shoes, skateboards, figurines and many more, and if you are stuck for inspiration there are literally millions of designs that you can choose from.
Giving the gift of laughter in the form of a t-shirt can be seen in many different ways. You can use it to share a joke with your fellow human beings, or it can be enjoyed solely by the wearer of the t-shirt. They can be clean risque or just plain offensive, its your choice. Some rude ones are designed to shock the person who reads it, and the wearer of these type of humorous t-shirts has to be a certain type who enjoys the reaction this will get. When buying a funny t-shirt as a gift it is important to consider the personality of the intended recipient.
These garments can also make a social or political statement as well, they can deliver a message or an opinion, and are a great way of showing our personal identity. When one wears a funny t-shirt they are stating, "This is who I am and this is what I believe". Funny t-shirts are also a good way to break the ice in a social situation. Men and women no longer have to struggle with cheesy pick-up lines as they can simply state their interests on a funny tee.
They are as varied as you want them to be with inventive graphics or just a printed message , even if the t-shirt contains no graphics they can look very decorative with a unique and funny message emblazoned on the front for the whole world to see. With inventive design even plain prose with no graphical element can still be bright and attractive as there are thousands of fonts to liven up the words.
All-in-all, funny t-shirts are a great way to share laughter with your fellow man . You can cheer up any situation with a joke Just by wearing one yourself. Or buy them for friends or family as an ideal gift. its also an easy way to let people see your humorous side no matter how shy you may feel.
If you are looking for that unique funny t-shirt for yourself or a friend or relative take a look at http://www.naturally-stoned.com site. Their designs range from clean to risque, offensive or just funny, pictures or graphical images all designed by professional graphic designers and award winning photographers.
If you are of an artistic bent then why not make your own, at http://www.zazzle.com/naturally-stoned* . You can put your design on not only t-shirts, but a massive range of other personal gifts, including mugs, shoes, skateboards, figurines and many more, and if you are stuck for inspiration there are literally millions of designs that you can choose from.
Chihuahuas Have No Fear of Satan
Common household pets aren't very religious by nature; indeed, I've never noticed either of my chihuahuas showing any interest whatsoever in reading my Bible.
But they sure don't like Satan. In fact, they chased him out of our apartment complex.
The dogs had taken me for my morning walk the other day. They take me outside twice a day, in return for which I feed them, bathe them, give them lots of scratching and allow them to sleep as much as they want.
They'd stopped for a moment to inspect their markings on the nearest telephone pole when I heard Satan sneaking up behind me.
"Satan!" a man's voice bellowed from a nearby apartment door. "You leave those little dogs alone!"
As I turned, I saw Satan for the first time in my life — a full-grown German Shepherd (y'all don't believe those stories you hear about him having horns and such). He loped across the parking lot, eager to work wickedness.
Smedley hit him first, launching all four pounds of pure chihuahua fury at Satan's chest. After bouncing off the 100-pound monster the first time, he found a tooth hold on Satan's back.
Rusty attacked from the rear, getting the shepherd's leg in his jaws and gnawing away like it was a rib bone. When I think about it now, it was kinda funny, watching that big dog shaking his leg with its five-pound attachment.
Jerry Falwell never did a better job. Satan started running.
Smedley and Rusty fell off before the big'un had gone too far, and they chased him halfway across the vacant field adjacent to our apartments before the big devil's longer legs enabled him to pull away. The man from the apartment who'd called him earlier rushed by, mumbling apologies, and we saw them disappear around the corner.
Smedley (that's Lieutenant Colonel Smedley D. Butler) and Rusty (Sergeant Major Russell J. Chihooiehooie) normally don't like each other all that much, near as I can tell, but the Houston Rockets never displayed the kind of teamwork those two showed when fighting Satan.
I guess I should've expected it of Rusty; several years ago he put 137 stitches in a Doberman after the attack dog had foolishly wandered into my brother's yard and started chasing around my 4-year-old niece. Age may have made him a tad slower and his teeth less sharp, but he can still scrap with the best of 'em — even when it means gumming 'em to death.
Smedley, however, surprised me. He's always been a coward — you know, the chihuahua who hides under the couch until the band of kids wanders by, jumping out to nip the last one in line and then diving back under the couch.
I named him for a two-time Medal of Honor winner and had heretofore regretted that somewhat.
I told my preacher about the incident and he got a big kick out of it, and even worked it into his sermon the other day. He still won't let me bring 'em to church, though; he says he doesn't trust 'em with all that nice wood around.
Satan stays away from us now. I talked with the man he rooms with later, and he told me he'd run almost three blocks before Satan finally let him catch up. "Those little dogs scared him to death," he said.
Personally, I think they just put the fear of God into him.
But they sure don't like Satan. In fact, they chased him out of our apartment complex.
The dogs had taken me for my morning walk the other day. They take me outside twice a day, in return for which I feed them, bathe them, give them lots of scratching and allow them to sleep as much as they want.
They'd stopped for a moment to inspect their markings on the nearest telephone pole when I heard Satan sneaking up behind me.
"Satan!" a man's voice bellowed from a nearby apartment door. "You leave those little dogs alone!"
As I turned, I saw Satan for the first time in my life — a full-grown German Shepherd (y'all don't believe those stories you hear about him having horns and such). He loped across the parking lot, eager to work wickedness.
Smedley hit him first, launching all four pounds of pure chihuahua fury at Satan's chest. After bouncing off the 100-pound monster the first time, he found a tooth hold on Satan's back.
Rusty attacked from the rear, getting the shepherd's leg in his jaws and gnawing away like it was a rib bone. When I think about it now, it was kinda funny, watching that big dog shaking his leg with its five-pound attachment.
Jerry Falwell never did a better job. Satan started running.
Smedley and Rusty fell off before the big'un had gone too far, and they chased him halfway across the vacant field adjacent to our apartments before the big devil's longer legs enabled him to pull away. The man from the apartment who'd called him earlier rushed by, mumbling apologies, and we saw them disappear around the corner.
Smedley (that's Lieutenant Colonel Smedley D. Butler) and Rusty (Sergeant Major Russell J. Chihooiehooie) normally don't like each other all that much, near as I can tell, but the Houston Rockets never displayed the kind of teamwork those two showed when fighting Satan.
I guess I should've expected it of Rusty; several years ago he put 137 stitches in a Doberman after the attack dog had foolishly wandered into my brother's yard and started chasing around my 4-year-old niece. Age may have made him a tad slower and his teeth less sharp, but he can still scrap with the best of 'em — even when it means gumming 'em to death.
Smedley, however, surprised me. He's always been a coward — you know, the chihuahua who hides under the couch until the band of kids wanders by, jumping out to nip the last one in line and then diving back under the couch.
I named him for a two-time Medal of Honor winner and had heretofore regretted that somewhat.
I told my preacher about the incident and he got a big kick out of it, and even worked it into his sermon the other day. He still won't let me bring 'em to church, though; he says he doesn't trust 'em with all that nice wood around.
Satan stays away from us now. I talked with the man he rooms with later, and he told me he'd run almost three blocks before Satan finally let him catch up. "Those little dogs scared him to death," he said.
Personally, I think they just put the fear of God into him.
The 5th Way Team Discusses Physical Fitness
It is Wendell's first time with the 5th Way team at their gym. Let's see what happens through Wendell's eyes.
Addison: "Wendell, since this is your first time here I would like for you to just go around the gym observing what everyone is doing, then come to me last."
Wendell: "Okay, Addison."
Addison: "Alright, everyone have a great workout and I will see you in the dining area for refreshments afterwards."
Wendell: Boy, this is so exciting. I can't wait to see this! Hhhhmmmm... I think I will start with Zhi and work my way from there. There he is. Wow, Zhi is doing some kind of Tai Chi form. He is so graceful, so captivating to watch. I could sit here all day just watching him.
Splash!
Ah, someone must be in the pool swimming. I will check it out. Oh my goodness, Waneta is naked in the pool!!! How embarrassing. (His face is turning red) I better get out of here before she catches me looking at her. I have to say she does seem to be in very good shape for her age though. Whew!
"Ooooosh.... Eeeyiii!!!"
What was that? Oh, Naruto and Catharsis are doing some kind of martial art. Wow, they are great...I can see why Naruto is in charge of security for the team. (laughing) Even when he is doing martial arts, Catharsis is a character! Well, I better move on and see what Kailoken is up to.
Hhhhmmmm...why Kailoken is just sitting there looking at the weights. "Sorry to disturb you Kailoken but are you not working out today?"
Kailoken: "Good timing on your part there. Would you please remove 20 pounds of weight off that bar for me?"
Wendell: "Why sure I will. Are you doing bench presses?"
Kailoken: "Actually, I am lifting the weight with my mind. It seemed a little heavy so I asked you to remove the extra weight."
Wendell: (rolling his eyes) "Well, I will let you get back to your workout there. Talk with you later." That Kailoken is a real nutcase. You never know what he is going to do. Okay, well, that leaves Addison... I better get on over there.
Addison: "Wendell, I see you have made the rounds already. As you can see I am in the middle of my aerobic workout. This Nordic Track gives a great workout. Why don't you take about 25 minutes, get a good workout on your own and meet up with the rest of us later?"
Wendell: "Will do, Addison."
--- The team is forming up in the dining area---
Wendell: "Hello, everyone." "Greetings" "Namaste" "Welcome" "As salaam alikum" "Aho"
Catharsis: "Did you get yourself a good workout there, Wendell?"
Wendell: "Yes, I did some yoga...it was quite peaceful and relaxing."
Addison: "That is great; I highly recommend many forms of yoga. Go ahead and grab yourself some refreshment and join us around the table here... Now that Wendell is settled let's see what you have observed today. Feel free to comment on and question everyone at the table on what he or she was doing for a workout. Everyone feel free to join in at any time."
Wendell: "Since I started watching Zhi first, I would like to ask what form of Tai Chi you were doing? I mean, it looked so fluid whatever it was."
Zhi: "Ah, very good. I was doing The Eight Treasures. It is a very ancient form of energy enhancement exercise, and is said to be at least six thousand years old. With this exercise I tone, strengthen, and stretch to maintain my good health and prevent disease."
Wendell: "Can anyone do it? It looked so easy the way you were going through the motions."
Catharsis: "Don't let your perceptions fool you kid, Zhi has been doing those forms since he was a child. I would not be surprised if his parents started him off doing the moves while he was still in the womb! Heck, he probably even helped his mom do the flying dragon by lifting her off the ground a few inches with his movement from within."
Zhi: "Ah, that's a very interesting idea. The great thing about The Eight Treasures is that anyone at any fitness level can do them."
Wendell: "I would like to learn that if you would teach me. And I would like to learn what Naruto was doing too. What kind of martial arts were you and Catharsis doing?"
Naruto: "It is called Ju Jutsu. I began learning this as a child in my homeland of Japan. With this form not only do you get a great workout, you can properly defend yourself and others."
Addison: "I suggest that you start with one discipline and work at it until you have a solid grounding and then move on to another with the consultation of your instructors. Zhi would you be willing to take Wendell on as a student?"
Zhi: "I would be much honored to have new student. Wendell and I can talk about it later."
Catharsis: "You know what's scary to many people when they think of physical fitness? They think they will get hurt doing it. 'I am not going to go running, what if I step on a rusty nail, what if a rabid chipmunk gets a hold of me?!'"
Addison: "Yes, people have fears about practically everything in life. Some people fear they will hurt themselves just getting out of bed in the morning. However, there are people that do hurt themselves while performing various types of physical exercise. These injuries are usually due to overdoing something or using a wrong technique."
Catharsis: "Or, they beat each other to a pulp 'playing' rugby, football, etc."
Naruto: "If people pay attention and have good instructor, then no problem. Staying physically fit is very important. Even the blessed Buddha say so."
Waneta: "While many of my people have followed the white man into gluttony and physical laziness, physical fitness has been important to us for centuries. We like to run, swim, dance and play outdoor games." Wendell's face starts to turn red.
Catharsis: "Is something the matter there kid? You didn't happen to catch Waneta swimming in the buff did you?" (laughing)
Wendell: "I, uh, yes. I am sorry Waneta for seeing you like that, I mean for invading your privacy."
Waneta: "Boy, being naked is a natural thing and I am not ashamed of it. Just wait until you see me swimming in the moonlight!" Wendell's face turns even redder and he looks down and away.
Addison: "Try not to let it bother you Wendell, we are all one happy family here. Many things you have been taught by society do not hold up as being true here. What did you observe Kailoken doing?"
Wendell: "Well, I did not observe him doing anything but sitting there. He did say he was lifting weights with his mind though."
Catharsis: "That is great, how much did you manage to lift this time?"
Kailoken: "I managed to lift 200 pounds. I was taking it easy so as not to strain my mind."
Addison: "What do you make of that Wendell?"
Wendell: "Well, uh.... I am not sure."
Addison: "As is typical of my wonderful associate here, Kailoken was making a point that one can actually run through exercises using one's mind alone. And, as most of us here know, when it is real to the mind, it affects the body as well. Many athletes actually use this technique to help perfect their performance. This is something that people who are bed-ridden and otherwise not able to do physical fitness that well can utilize to get some physical benefit. Those that are really out of shape can perhaps start imagining that they are doing the actual exercise within their minds and then move on to the real thing from there."
Wendell: "That is very very interesting. I never thought of that before."
Catharsis: "You know what I find weird about physical fitness? People who need it the most are the most resistant to doing it. It is like they fall into some black hole of atrophy and cannot break free. 'Help me! Help me! Get me out of here, somebody!'"
Addison: "Yes, many people just do not seem to be able to break that inertia to begin getting started to a healthier state of being. That is why I suggest just gentle movement to start with. Walking, mental exercise, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, Hatha Yoga, and swimming can all be good forms of gentle movement for most people at any age. 1.5 miles of walking has been shown to be as good as 1 mile of running, for instance." "Okay, Zhi and Wendell can talk about Tai Chi instruction. May you all have a spiritually productive day. Love and Light to you."
"Namaste" "Later, Addison" "Peace to you my friend" "I will catch up with you later, Addison"...
Addison: "Wendell, since this is your first time here I would like for you to just go around the gym observing what everyone is doing, then come to me last."
Wendell: "Okay, Addison."
Addison: "Alright, everyone have a great workout and I will see you in the dining area for refreshments afterwards."
Wendell: Boy, this is so exciting. I can't wait to see this! Hhhhmmmm... I think I will start with Zhi and work my way from there. There he is. Wow, Zhi is doing some kind of Tai Chi form. He is so graceful, so captivating to watch. I could sit here all day just watching him.
Splash!
Ah, someone must be in the pool swimming. I will check it out. Oh my goodness, Waneta is naked in the pool!!! How embarrassing. (His face is turning red) I better get out of here before she catches me looking at her. I have to say she does seem to be in very good shape for her age though. Whew!
"Ooooosh.... Eeeyiii!!!"
What was that? Oh, Naruto and Catharsis are doing some kind of martial art. Wow, they are great...I can see why Naruto is in charge of security for the team. (laughing) Even when he is doing martial arts, Catharsis is a character! Well, I better move on and see what Kailoken is up to.
Hhhhmmmm...why Kailoken is just sitting there looking at the weights. "Sorry to disturb you Kailoken but are you not working out today?"
Kailoken: "Good timing on your part there. Would you please remove 20 pounds of weight off that bar for me?"
Wendell: "Why sure I will. Are you doing bench presses?"
Kailoken: "Actually, I am lifting the weight with my mind. It seemed a little heavy so I asked you to remove the extra weight."
Wendell: (rolling his eyes) "Well, I will let you get back to your workout there. Talk with you later." That Kailoken is a real nutcase. You never know what he is going to do. Okay, well, that leaves Addison... I better get on over there.
Addison: "Wendell, I see you have made the rounds already. As you can see I am in the middle of my aerobic workout. This Nordic Track gives a great workout. Why don't you take about 25 minutes, get a good workout on your own and meet up with the rest of us later?"
Wendell: "Will do, Addison."
--- The team is forming up in the dining area---
Wendell: "Hello, everyone." "Greetings" "Namaste" "Welcome" "As salaam alikum" "Aho"
Catharsis: "Did you get yourself a good workout there, Wendell?"
Wendell: "Yes, I did some yoga...it was quite peaceful and relaxing."
Addison: "That is great; I highly recommend many forms of yoga. Go ahead and grab yourself some refreshment and join us around the table here... Now that Wendell is settled let's see what you have observed today. Feel free to comment on and question everyone at the table on what he or she was doing for a workout. Everyone feel free to join in at any time."
Wendell: "Since I started watching Zhi first, I would like to ask what form of Tai Chi you were doing? I mean, it looked so fluid whatever it was."
Zhi: "Ah, very good. I was doing The Eight Treasures. It is a very ancient form of energy enhancement exercise, and is said to be at least six thousand years old. With this exercise I tone, strengthen, and stretch to maintain my good health and prevent disease."
Wendell: "Can anyone do it? It looked so easy the way you were going through the motions."
Catharsis: "Don't let your perceptions fool you kid, Zhi has been doing those forms since he was a child. I would not be surprised if his parents started him off doing the moves while he was still in the womb! Heck, he probably even helped his mom do the flying dragon by lifting her off the ground a few inches with his movement from within."
Zhi: "Ah, that's a very interesting idea. The great thing about The Eight Treasures is that anyone at any fitness level can do them."
Wendell: "I would like to learn that if you would teach me. And I would like to learn what Naruto was doing too. What kind of martial arts were you and Catharsis doing?"
Naruto: "It is called Ju Jutsu. I began learning this as a child in my homeland of Japan. With this form not only do you get a great workout, you can properly defend yourself and others."
Addison: "I suggest that you start with one discipline and work at it until you have a solid grounding and then move on to another with the consultation of your instructors. Zhi would you be willing to take Wendell on as a student?"
Zhi: "I would be much honored to have new student. Wendell and I can talk about it later."
Catharsis: "You know what's scary to many people when they think of physical fitness? They think they will get hurt doing it. 'I am not going to go running, what if I step on a rusty nail, what if a rabid chipmunk gets a hold of me?!'"
Addison: "Yes, people have fears about practically everything in life. Some people fear they will hurt themselves just getting out of bed in the morning. However, there are people that do hurt themselves while performing various types of physical exercise. These injuries are usually due to overdoing something or using a wrong technique."
Catharsis: "Or, they beat each other to a pulp 'playing' rugby, football, etc."
Naruto: "If people pay attention and have good instructor, then no problem. Staying physically fit is very important. Even the blessed Buddha say so."
Waneta: "While many of my people have followed the white man into gluttony and physical laziness, physical fitness has been important to us for centuries. We like to run, swim, dance and play outdoor games." Wendell's face starts to turn red.
Catharsis: "Is something the matter there kid? You didn't happen to catch Waneta swimming in the buff did you?" (laughing)
Wendell: "I, uh, yes. I am sorry Waneta for seeing you like that, I mean for invading your privacy."
Waneta: "Boy, being naked is a natural thing and I am not ashamed of it. Just wait until you see me swimming in the moonlight!" Wendell's face turns even redder and he looks down and away.
Addison: "Try not to let it bother you Wendell, we are all one happy family here. Many things you have been taught by society do not hold up as being true here. What did you observe Kailoken doing?"
Wendell: "Well, I did not observe him doing anything but sitting there. He did say he was lifting weights with his mind though."
Catharsis: "That is great, how much did you manage to lift this time?"
Kailoken: "I managed to lift 200 pounds. I was taking it easy so as not to strain my mind."
Addison: "What do you make of that Wendell?"
Wendell: "Well, uh.... I am not sure."
Addison: "As is typical of my wonderful associate here, Kailoken was making a point that one can actually run through exercises using one's mind alone. And, as most of us here know, when it is real to the mind, it affects the body as well. Many athletes actually use this technique to help perfect their performance. This is something that people who are bed-ridden and otherwise not able to do physical fitness that well can utilize to get some physical benefit. Those that are really out of shape can perhaps start imagining that they are doing the actual exercise within their minds and then move on to the real thing from there."
Wendell: "That is very very interesting. I never thought of that before."
Catharsis: "You know what I find weird about physical fitness? People who need it the most are the most resistant to doing it. It is like they fall into some black hole of atrophy and cannot break free. 'Help me! Help me! Get me out of here, somebody!'"
Addison: "Yes, many people just do not seem to be able to break that inertia to begin getting started to a healthier state of being. That is why I suggest just gentle movement to start with. Walking, mental exercise, Tai Chi, Chi Gong, Hatha Yoga, and swimming can all be good forms of gentle movement for most people at any age. 1.5 miles of walking has been shown to be as good as 1 mile of running, for instance." "Okay, Zhi and Wendell can talk about Tai Chi instruction. May you all have a spiritually productive day. Love and Light to you."
"Namaste" "Later, Addison" "Peace to you my friend" "I will catch up with you later, Addison"...
Funny Questions About Life
Ever had one of those funny questions about life? Then please read on. When it comes to funny questions and thoughts about life, every time I think I've seen them all I find one I've never seen before or come up with more of my own. The following are some of the ones I've discovered or written however, I know there's more because thats, well... life. So, if you find while reading these funny questions and thoughts about life make you smile, pass them along. All right, let's get started!
Funny Questions about life - Group 1 Why does Hawaiian pizza also contain Canadian Bacon? Grape Nuts cereal. No grapes - no nuts. Huh? What's the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup? Do Dutch people always split the bill? If you use Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread, do you have to use Heavenly Ham?
Funny Questions about life - Group 2 Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale? They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants? Why are oriental rug stores always going out of business? Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Funny Questions about life - Group 3 If it only takes one match to start a forrest fire, why on earth does it take me a whole box of matches and a can of lighter fluid to light my grill? When they ship those styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack them in? How do you know when pickles or sour cream has gone bad?
Funny Questions about life - Group 4 How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning? Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What? If Donkey Kong's main character is a monkey, why isn't it called Monkey Kong? Why does the word lisp have an "s" in it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 5 How come you never read the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"? The next time someone says, "Now I've seen everything", ask them if they've ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space. Has anyone ever really seen a Jolly Rancher? If you get a club soda stain, how do you remove it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 6 Has anyone (besides Donald Trump's wife) ever been fooled by a comb over? Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands? There's senior citizens, so why aren't there junior citizens?
Funny Questions about life - Group 7 They say laughter is the best medicine - so who came up with the phrase, "I died laughing"? Why do doctors leave the room when your getting dressed? After all, they've already seen you naked. What's wrong with the United States? They only have two choices for President, but fifty for Miss America. Any reason they nail down the lid of a coffin? When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?
Funny Questions about life - Group 8 Where do they put price stickers on non-stick pans? If it's called lipstick, why is it always coming off? When they sing, "Take me out to the ball game" they're already there. Why? Who's idea was it to make the word abbreviation so long?
Yes, these are just a few of the Funny Questions about life that try men's -and women's souls. And there's a ton more funny questions about life not listed here. Some of them come to me during the course of a day. For example, why does every shampoo bottle say, lather, rinse, repeat? I'm sorry, did I miss my head entirely the first time or do you just want to sell more shampoo? If you have or have thought up any funny questions of life yourself, feel free to send them along and thanks for wasting a few minutes of your life pondering these funny questions of life. Now get out there and do something good. Like figuring out what people in China call their good plates...
Funny Questions about life - Group 1 Why does Hawaiian pizza also contain Canadian Bacon? Grape Nuts cereal. No grapes - no nuts. Huh? What's the difference between regular ketchup and fancy ketchup? Do Dutch people always split the bill? If you use Miracle Whip on Wonder Bread, do you have to use Heavenly Ham?
Funny Questions about life - Group 2 Is there ever a day that mattresses aren't on sale? They make bullet proof vests, why not bullet proof pants? Why are oriental rug stores always going out of business? Is there any difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
Funny Questions about life - Group 3 If it only takes one match to start a forrest fire, why on earth does it take me a whole box of matches and a can of lighter fluid to light my grill? When they ship those styrofoam peanuts, what do they pack them in? How do you know when pickles or sour cream has gone bad?
Funny Questions about life - Group 4 How does one know when their bagpipes need tuning? Allstate Insurance has a disclaimer that reads: not available in all states. What? If Donkey Kong's main character is a monkey, why isn't it called Monkey Kong? Why does the word lisp have an "s" in it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 5 How come you never read the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"? The next time someone says, "Now I've seen everything", ask them if they've ever seen a UPS truck parked in a parking space. Has anyone ever really seen a Jolly Rancher? If you get a club soda stain, how do you remove it?
Funny Questions about life - Group 6 Has anyone (besides Donald Trump's wife) ever been fooled by a comb over? Is it really possible to change the direction of a bowling ball by waving your hands? There's senior citizens, so why aren't there junior citizens?
Funny Questions about life - Group 7 They say laughter is the best medicine - so who came up with the phrase, "I died laughing"? Why do doctors leave the room when your getting dressed? After all, they've already seen you naked. What's wrong with the United States? They only have two choices for President, but fifty for Miss America. Any reason they nail down the lid of a coffin? When butterflies get upset or nervous, what do they get in their stomachs?
Funny Questions about life - Group 8 Where do they put price stickers on non-stick pans? If it's called lipstick, why is it always coming off? When they sing, "Take me out to the ball game" they're already there. Why? Who's idea was it to make the word abbreviation so long?
Yes, these are just a few of the Funny Questions about life that try men's -and women's souls. And there's a ton more funny questions about life not listed here. Some of them come to me during the course of a day. For example, why does every shampoo bottle say, lather, rinse, repeat? I'm sorry, did I miss my head entirely the first time or do you just want to sell more shampoo? If you have or have thought up any funny questions of life yourself, feel free to send them along and thanks for wasting a few minutes of your life pondering these funny questions of life. Now get out there and do something good. Like figuring out what people in China call their good plates...
The Hidden Power of Humor
Philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.” Despite the buffoonish imagery that comes to mind when one considers the joker, the clown or the pie-in-the-face comedian, humor is more than mere silliness. It is an advanced intellectual means of developing new perspectives and coping with extreme circumstances.
A maltreated animal has two potential responses to an abusive master: attack to stop the abuse, or cower/flee to avoid it. He cannot disarm the bully with a witty remark or ironically imitate his master behind his back for his own amusement. One of the first government actions in Nazi Germany was the establishment of a law against treacherous attacks on the state and party that made anti-Nazi humor an act of treason, and there was a reason for this. Research has shown that humor is the most effective means of preventing the indoctrination of brainwashing.
Used as both a shield and a weapon, humor has the power to soothe the most wounded and threaten the most evil. These qualities speak to its inherent potential – a potential that has not yet been entirely tapped or even recognized. Holocaust survivor Emil Fackenheim said, “We kept our morale through humor,” and many other survivors of the Holocaust, POW camps, torture and abuse have shared his sentiment. The stories of these survivors and findings of modern medical research support the notion that humor is an extremely effective tool for managing our advanced awareness and for creating new perspectives to cope with otherwise unbearable environments or circumstances.
Evidence for the direct benefits of humor lie in studies of the body’s chemical reaction to laughter. Among other things, laughter has been shown to reduce stress, boost the immune system and enhance brain chemistry through the release of serotonin and endorphins. Many popular antidepressants target the neurotransmitter serotonin by either blocking its reuptake or increasing production, but one can “self-medicate” using one’s own serotonin supply by watching a funny movie, going to a comedy show or playing a fun game. For the rejected lover or laid off worker, this self-induced boost of serotonin activates a neurochemical reaction that enhances their ability to tolerate the stress response and think creatively of coping options. Humor is a very effective means of dealing with overwhelming emotion and taking control of a situation. Hunter “Patch” Adams, the physician portrayed by Robin Williams in the movie bearing his name, continues to use laughter as a primary tool in his treatment of patients, to great success. He is just one example of many who have witnessed and reported first-hand accounts of how essential humor is to both physical and emotional health.
It has been said that tragedy occurs where the tree, instead of bending, breaks. Amy Bishop, the University of Alabama professor who recently shot three colleagues to death and wounded three others, has frequently been referred to as serious, intense and humorless. She clearly had the intellect to perform at the highest levels of society, but not the tools to cope with the related stresses. Had she taken the time to develop the tool that nature gave her for dealing with that stress, a sense of humor, her three colleagues might still be alive today. Many people have found ways to laugh off much worse things than being denied tenure, and the skill is one that is within us all.
Whereas professors teach us what has been written by other serious academics, comedians tell us what is going on in the world around us through a first-hand account that we can immediately identify with and understand. Comedic news programs such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report owe their phenomenal success to the common desire to hear the truth and face the world, but in tolerable terms. The comedian is not afraid to talk about the fears and concerns that most people try hard to conceal or deny. By not only bringing them into the open but also laughing at and minimizing them, the comedian puts himself and his audience in control and the concealed fears dissipate in the shared light of day.
We have all heard of the “Way of the Warrior” and the “Way of the Buddha,” and we live the “Way of the Professional,” the “Way of the Academic,” the “Way of the Spouse,” the “Way of the Parent,” etc. But for those looking for an easier and more fun path to a happier, healthier life, the “Way of the Comedian” could be the way to go. To those who avoid comedic opportunities in an effort to preserve a reputation as a serious professional, Wittgenstein said, “Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness.” Widely regarded as the greatest philosopher of the 20th century, he speaks words of wisdom.
Some famous individuals who shared this perspective are quoted below:
A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
--William Arthur Ward
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
--Bill Cosby
There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.
--Thomas W. Higginson
The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.
--Jacob August Riis
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
--Francis Bacon
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
--Mohandas Gandhi
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
--Mark Twain
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
--Henry Ward Beecher
A maltreated animal has two potential responses to an abusive master: attack to stop the abuse, or cower/flee to avoid it. He cannot disarm the bully with a witty remark or ironically imitate his master behind his back for his own amusement. One of the first government actions in Nazi Germany was the establishment of a law against treacherous attacks on the state and party that made anti-Nazi humor an act of treason, and there was a reason for this. Research has shown that humor is the most effective means of preventing the indoctrination of brainwashing.
Used as both a shield and a weapon, humor has the power to soothe the most wounded and threaten the most evil. These qualities speak to its inherent potential – a potential that has not yet been entirely tapped or even recognized. Holocaust survivor Emil Fackenheim said, “We kept our morale through humor,” and many other survivors of the Holocaust, POW camps, torture and abuse have shared his sentiment. The stories of these survivors and findings of modern medical research support the notion that humor is an extremely effective tool for managing our advanced awareness and for creating new perspectives to cope with otherwise unbearable environments or circumstances.
Evidence for the direct benefits of humor lie in studies of the body’s chemical reaction to laughter. Among other things, laughter has been shown to reduce stress, boost the immune system and enhance brain chemistry through the release of serotonin and endorphins. Many popular antidepressants target the neurotransmitter serotonin by either blocking its reuptake or increasing production, but one can “self-medicate” using one’s own serotonin supply by watching a funny movie, going to a comedy show or playing a fun game. For the rejected lover or laid off worker, this self-induced boost of serotonin activates a neurochemical reaction that enhances their ability to tolerate the stress response and think creatively of coping options. Humor is a very effective means of dealing with overwhelming emotion and taking control of a situation. Hunter “Patch” Adams, the physician portrayed by Robin Williams in the movie bearing his name, continues to use laughter as a primary tool in his treatment of patients, to great success. He is just one example of many who have witnessed and reported first-hand accounts of how essential humor is to both physical and emotional health.
It has been said that tragedy occurs where the tree, instead of bending, breaks. Amy Bishop, the University of Alabama professor who recently shot three colleagues to death and wounded three others, has frequently been referred to as serious, intense and humorless. She clearly had the intellect to perform at the highest levels of society, but not the tools to cope with the related stresses. Had she taken the time to develop the tool that nature gave her for dealing with that stress, a sense of humor, her three colleagues might still be alive today. Many people have found ways to laugh off much worse things than being denied tenure, and the skill is one that is within us all.
Whereas professors teach us what has been written by other serious academics, comedians tell us what is going on in the world around us through a first-hand account that we can immediately identify with and understand. Comedic news programs such as The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report owe their phenomenal success to the common desire to hear the truth and face the world, but in tolerable terms. The comedian is not afraid to talk about the fears and concerns that most people try hard to conceal or deny. By not only bringing them into the open but also laughing at and minimizing them, the comedian puts himself and his audience in control and the concealed fears dissipate in the shared light of day.
We have all heard of the “Way of the Warrior” and the “Way of the Buddha,” and we live the “Way of the Professional,” the “Way of the Academic,” the “Way of the Spouse,” the “Way of the Parent,” etc. But for those looking for an easier and more fun path to a happier, healthier life, the “Way of the Comedian” could be the way to go. To those who avoid comedic opportunities in an effort to preserve a reputation as a serious professional, Wittgenstein said, “Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness.” Widely regarded as the greatest philosopher of the 20th century, he speaks words of wisdom.
Some famous individuals who shared this perspective are quoted below:
A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.
--William Arthur Ward
You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
--Bill Cosby
There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor.
--Thomas W. Higginson
The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.
--Jacob August Riis
Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.
--Francis Bacon
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
--Mohandas Gandhi
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
--Mark Twain
A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
--Henry Ward Beecher
Congress, It's Like The Smell Coming From The Garbage Can
The Democrats in Congress and Obama are so intent on being right about health care that they got it passed even if it means many of them not being re-elected because of it. So, finally, at least some good might come of this.
Nancy Pelosi said recently about the health care bill, "We have to pass this bill so that you can find out what's in it." And Obama said the other day, "I haven't read the bill yet, but we need to pass it." This kind of makes you think Congress and Obama are like the Forrest Gumps of politicians saying, "Obamacare is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get."
When Nancy Pelosi became the Speaker of the House she said that this would be the most ethical Congress ever. But associating Congress with ethics is like associating Al Gore with charisma. There is actually an Ethics Committee in Congress and I'm assuming they are on the lookout for anyone there being ethical. So far they've found no one.
But a congressman trying to find ethics it's pretty much like a caveman trying to discover fire. It's something you've never seen before so you really don't know what it looks like. It compares to Tiger Wood discovering fidelity or Lady Gaga finding normalcy.
From many of the actions that Congress takes you'd think their collective IQs would have a hard time topping summer temperatures in Alaska. It makes you want to propose a reality show to the networks about Congress - Are You Smarter than Sandpaper? But the fact is that many of them are really intelligent people but when the mold was made for those people they forgot to provide space for that thing we talked about earlier in the article - ethics (but on Nancy Pelosi instead of ethics they put botox.)
Intelligence without ethics is how you get "brilliant" pieces of work like a stimulus package to spend your way of debt.
Let's just listen in on an interview with a Congressman that never made it to air (because the "ethics" committee wouldn't allow it):
Interviewer: What do you think is the biggest problem we face today, healthcare or unemployment?
Congressman: Neither one, it's being re-elected.
Interviewer: How is that a problem for the citizens of the United States?
Congressman: Oh, I didn't know we were talking about them. I thought we were talking about me. In that case I think the biggest problem is either steroid in sports or replacing the BCS system with a playoff in college football.
Interviewer: Why would those things be important to Congress?
Congressman: Well, first of all, Miss smarty pants interviewer, they are subjects where it makes Congress looks like we really care about something and so it makes us look good. And second it's something we can't really get in trouble for. Even though a lot of us take steroids and really, any type of drug you could imagine, legal or illegal, we aren't professional athletes, so it takes the limelight off of us and puts it somewhere else.
Interviewer: But how do those things fall under your jurisdiction?
Congressman: I guess you aren't listening. I already said it makes us look good and that is our biggest jurisdiction.
At that time a couple of Secret Service agent swept in and carted the interviewer off, never to be heard from again.
And with that said, it would be nice if we could just get rid of these guys by "unfriending" them in our Facebook accounts but at least we can vote them out in the next election.
Nancy Pelosi said recently about the health care bill, "We have to pass this bill so that you can find out what's in it." And Obama said the other day, "I haven't read the bill yet, but we need to pass it." This kind of makes you think Congress and Obama are like the Forrest Gumps of politicians saying, "Obamacare is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get."
When Nancy Pelosi became the Speaker of the House she said that this would be the most ethical Congress ever. But associating Congress with ethics is like associating Al Gore with charisma. There is actually an Ethics Committee in Congress and I'm assuming they are on the lookout for anyone there being ethical. So far they've found no one.
But a congressman trying to find ethics it's pretty much like a caveman trying to discover fire. It's something you've never seen before so you really don't know what it looks like. It compares to Tiger Wood discovering fidelity or Lady Gaga finding normalcy.
From many of the actions that Congress takes you'd think their collective IQs would have a hard time topping summer temperatures in Alaska. It makes you want to propose a reality show to the networks about Congress - Are You Smarter than Sandpaper? But the fact is that many of them are really intelligent people but when the mold was made for those people they forgot to provide space for that thing we talked about earlier in the article - ethics (but on Nancy Pelosi instead of ethics they put botox.)
Intelligence without ethics is how you get "brilliant" pieces of work like a stimulus package to spend your way of debt.
Let's just listen in on an interview with a Congressman that never made it to air (because the "ethics" committee wouldn't allow it):
Interviewer: What do you think is the biggest problem we face today, healthcare or unemployment?
Congressman: Neither one, it's being re-elected.
Interviewer: How is that a problem for the citizens of the United States?
Congressman: Oh, I didn't know we were talking about them. I thought we were talking about me. In that case I think the biggest problem is either steroid in sports or replacing the BCS system with a playoff in college football.
Interviewer: Why would those things be important to Congress?
Congressman: Well, first of all, Miss smarty pants interviewer, they are subjects where it makes Congress looks like we really care about something and so it makes us look good. And second it's something we can't really get in trouble for. Even though a lot of us take steroids and really, any type of drug you could imagine, legal or illegal, we aren't professional athletes, so it takes the limelight off of us and puts it somewhere else.
Interviewer: But how do those things fall under your jurisdiction?
Congressman: I guess you aren't listening. I already said it makes us look good and that is our biggest jurisdiction.
At that time a couple of Secret Service agent swept in and carted the interviewer off, never to be heard from again.
And with that said, it would be nice if we could just get rid of these guys by "unfriending" them in our Facebook accounts but at least we can vote them out in the next election.
Cartoon Humor Can Tickle Your Funny Bone
Didn't the world seem a lot better during Saturday morning cartoons? There was no school, no troubles and no homework worries as cartoon humor entertained us for hours. All it took was the favorite show, a bowl of corn flakes and a never ending smile. Somehow, the tradition faded in time but if you still like cartoons, you are in luck.
There are so many new options that you would be left confused. You can now enjoy cartoons on television shows, morning newspapers and the internet. Whenever you are lonely or sad, turn on your favorite cartoon and roll away in laughter. Remember that your responsibilities increase as you grow old, but the child inside you does not die. You can always bring that back by reading the morning Garfield strip or checking out the new SpongeBob show.
The comic strip in the newspapers was a favorite for most people as they grew up. What started out as a small strip has grown into a variety of world famous cartoons. You can probably remember Archies and Garfield. Now you can choose between a variety of cartoon strips from Calvin and Hobbes to The Wizard Of Id. If that is not enough, you can also catch your cartoons as television shows on morning channels. What can be better than bugs bunny outsmarting the hunter or the road runner defeating his smart enemies. You would laugh and laugh until you have tears in your eyes. From getting hit with anvils to blasting each other with cannons, it's a dream world of fun and laughter.
Cartoons have some of the funniest jokes and the wittiest punch lines. You can laugh at anything and anyone in cartoons. You could even make one yourself. Remember the bully who troubles you at school? Why not draw him as a fat slug and show him falling under a piano. That can surely bring a big grin to your face. Cartoon humor has been growing constantly.
If you are bored of the repeats on television, switch on your computer and log onto any cartoon site. You will hold your stomach, crying out in laughter as you see the funny range of cartoons. One year old talking babies or a family of idiots, all of them can make you laugh for hours. Books and movies, people and places, things and thoughts, all come alive with cartoons.
If you love cartoons, there is always something that you have never seen before. Starting from Mickey and the Disney Gang to Pokemon and SpongeBob, all are genius shows. If you feel you have watched them all, you can always watch exclusive clips or unreleased extras on the net. There is never a dull moment with the huge collection of cartoon pages and websites that is sure to make anyone laugh with pure fun. A bundle of laughs and memories of joy, cartoons keep being a part of our lives. It is up to you to enjoy the world of cartoon humor and always keep the laughs alive when you are feeling down.
And now I would like you to take a peek at some really funny stuff by going to this Kid-Friendly Website A top line resource on clean humor for young families with lots of things for kids to do.
There are so many new options that you would be left confused. You can now enjoy cartoons on television shows, morning newspapers and the internet. Whenever you are lonely or sad, turn on your favorite cartoon and roll away in laughter. Remember that your responsibilities increase as you grow old, but the child inside you does not die. You can always bring that back by reading the morning Garfield strip or checking out the new SpongeBob show.
The comic strip in the newspapers was a favorite for most people as they grew up. What started out as a small strip has grown into a variety of world famous cartoons. You can probably remember Archies and Garfield. Now you can choose between a variety of cartoon strips from Calvin and Hobbes to The Wizard Of Id. If that is not enough, you can also catch your cartoons as television shows on morning channels. What can be better than bugs bunny outsmarting the hunter or the road runner defeating his smart enemies. You would laugh and laugh until you have tears in your eyes. From getting hit with anvils to blasting each other with cannons, it's a dream world of fun and laughter.
Cartoons have some of the funniest jokes and the wittiest punch lines. You can laugh at anything and anyone in cartoons. You could even make one yourself. Remember the bully who troubles you at school? Why not draw him as a fat slug and show him falling under a piano. That can surely bring a big grin to your face. Cartoon humor has been growing constantly.
If you are bored of the repeats on television, switch on your computer and log onto any cartoon site. You will hold your stomach, crying out in laughter as you see the funny range of cartoons. One year old talking babies or a family of idiots, all of them can make you laugh for hours. Books and movies, people and places, things and thoughts, all come alive with cartoons.
If you love cartoons, there is always something that you have never seen before. Starting from Mickey and the Disney Gang to Pokemon and SpongeBob, all are genius shows. If you feel you have watched them all, you can always watch exclusive clips or unreleased extras on the net. There is never a dull moment with the huge collection of cartoon pages and websites that is sure to make anyone laugh with pure fun. A bundle of laughs and memories of joy, cartoons keep being a part of our lives. It is up to you to enjoy the world of cartoon humor and always keep the laughs alive when you are feeling down.
And now I would like you to take a peek at some really funny stuff by going to this Kid-Friendly Website A top line resource on clean humor for young families with lots of things for kids to do.
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